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| Two men are driving through Philadelphia when they get pulled over by a Highway Patrolman. The cop walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver asks, "What the hell was that for?" The cop answers, "you're in Philadelphia son. When we pull you over, you better have your license ready when we get to your car." The driver says, "I'm sorry, Officer, I'm not from around here." The cop runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the guy his license back, walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks him on the head with the nightstick. The passenger asks, "what'd you do that for?" The cop says, "just making your wish come true." The passenger asks, "making what wish come true?" The cop says, "I know that, two miles down the road, you're gonna say to your buddy, 'I wish that asshole had tried that shit with me!'" |    |
Joke by baldlice, in Jokes with no home > Police - Tagged cops , arsehole , america - Current Score: 70 - Added: 4 months ago
| A doctor walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to 'write' with it. Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and said, "Fuckin' helll... some asshole's got my pen." | |
Joke by tommo, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged nurse , bank , arsehole - Current Score: 58 - Added: 11 months ago
| Ulrika Johnsson was rushed to hospital last night after sitting on her mobile phone. Wasn't a big problem though - not the first time she's had an Ericsson up her ringpiece! | |
Joke by catshit, in Celebrity and news events > Ulrika Jonsson - Tagged sven goran ericsson , mobile phone , ringpiect , arsehole - Current Score: 41 - Added: 1 week ago
| I used to be a necrophiliac... until the rotten cunt split on me | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Necrophilia - Tagged gay , necrophilia , arsehole , one liners - Current Score: 35 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| What do you call a question that you don't expect an answer to? A Prayer | |
Joke by whogivesashit, in Religion and racism > God - Tagged rhetorical , question , prayer , religion , arsehole - Current Score: 31 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| As soon as I got home last night I ripped my wifes thong off. Just in time as it was making my arsehole feel like a tea towel holder. | |
Joke by stig2112, in Sex and shit > Knickers - Tagged knickers , thong , arsehole - Current Score: 26 - Added: 3 months ago
| The sad life of a penis: I've only one eye, my hair's a mess, my relatives are nuts, my neighbour's an arsehole, my best friend's a cunt, and my owner's a wanker. | |
Joke by bendawson10, in Sex and shit > Penis - Tagged penis , dick , cunt , balls , nuts , arsehole , ass , wank , wanker - Current Score: 20 - Added: 3 months, 18 days ago
| A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for his family, but doesn't tell the kids what it is. He says he'll give them a clue, "It's what mum calls me sometimes." The little girl screams, "Don't eat it, it's a fucking arsehole!" | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > families - Tagged kids , deer , arsehole - Current Score: 18 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| I had a really spicy curry last night, and now my arse is in fucking tatters. I feel like a girl who's been on a blind date with John Leslie. | |
Joke by bleary, in Celebrity and news events > John Leslie - Tagged john leslie , rapists , curry , arsehole - Current Score: 15 - Added: 3 months, 18 days ago
| A student of proctology is in the morgue one day after classes, wanting to get a little practice in before the final exams. He goes over to a table where a body is lying face down. He uncovers the body and, to his surprise, he finds a cork in the corpse's rectum. Figuring that this is fairly unusual, he pulls the cork out and, to his absolute surprise, music begins playing: "On the road again...just can't wait to get on the road again..." The student is amazed, and pops the cork back into the anus. The music stops. Totally freaked out, the student calls the Medical Examiner over to the corpse. "Look at this, this is really something," the student tells the examiner as he pulls the cork back out again. They hear: "On the road again...just can't wait to get on the road again..." "So what?" the Medical Examiner replies, obviously unimpressed with the student's discovery. "But isn't that the most amazing thing you've ever seen?" asked the student. "Are you kidding?", replied the examiner, "Any arsehole can sing country music." | |
Joke by timbucks, in Illness and mortality > Proctology - Tagged arsehole , country , proctology , anus , music - Current Score: 15 - Added: 10 months ago
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