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Browsing tag: asleep
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My mate got 5 years for falling asleep on the job.

That sounds a bit harsh, but he was a burglar.		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by justincider, in Jokes with no home > Crime - Tagged mate , asleep , prison , burglar , harsh  - Current Score: 84 - Added: 3 months ago

We put our kids to sleep by tossing them in the air.
Of course, you have to have low ceilings for this method to work.		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by ben dover, in Jokes with no home > Kids - Tagged kids , asleep , low ceilings , tossing  - Current Score: 55 - Added: 6 months ago

What is the definition of ultimate rejection?

Your hand falling asleep while having a wank		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by Vision, in Sex and shit > Wanking - Tagged rejection , masturbation , hand , asleep  - Current Score: 49 - Added: 6 months, 26 days ago

A man goes to bed and reaches over to his wife.

He starts sliding his hand slowly across her shoulders then down her side just glancing her breasts then carries on down her side and legs.

He slides her legs apart and slowly runs his hand up and down the inner side of her thighs.

He slows and moves back towards the top and stops as his wife gasps "why have you stopped?"

He replies "I've found the remote."

"Now go back to fucking sleep."		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by comeandhaveagoifyouthinkyourhardenough, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged sex , wife , asleep  - Current Score: 29 - Added: 6 months, 29 days ago

My mate and his other half separated last week.
That'll teach him to fall asleep on the railway.		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by justincider, in Illness and mortality > Death - Tagged mate , railway , seperated , asleep  - Current Score: 18 - Added: 4 weeks ago

What is the ultimate rejection?

While you're wanking your hand falls asleep.		I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by skyleris, in Sex and shit > Masturbation - Tagged wanking , masturbation , skyleris , asleep , hand , fall  - Current Score: 8 - Added: 1 month ago

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