Sorted by: Highest Scoring | Lowest Scoring | Newest | Oldest
Page 1 of 4 - Next Page
| Paedophiles are fucking immature arseholes. |    |
Joke by CathalSherry, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged paedophilia , michael jackson , one liner , children , asshole , ian pearce - Current Score: 1753 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| I was considering joining the army the other day, but then I thought, if I want to be shouted at by some arsehole in a beret, I'll just go to France. | |
Joke by Tzameti, in Religion and racism > French - Tagged french , army , asshole - Current Score: 208 - Added: 5 months ago
| Two Englishmen - businessmen in London - were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some thick tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window and ask what we're selling." No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious Scotsman walked to the window, had a peek, and in a broad Scottish accent asked, "What are you selling here?" One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling arseholes." Without skipping a beat, the Scotsman said, "You are doing well. Only two left!" | |
Joke by Katherine Boyle, in Religion and racism > Scottish - Tagged scottish , jock , asshole , ian pearce , sweaty sock - Current Score: 147 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for his family, but doesn't tell the kids what it is. He says he'll give them a clue, "It's what mum calls me sometimes." The little girl screams, "Don't eat it, it's a fucking arsehole!" | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Families - Tagged kids , deer , asshole - Current Score: 87 - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago
| Two men are driving through Philadelphia when they get pulled over by a Highway Patrolman. The cop walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver asks, "What the hell was that for?" The cop answers, "you're in Philadelphia son. When we pull you over, you better have your license ready when we get to your car." The driver says, "I'm sorry, Officer, I'm not from around here." The cop runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the guy his license back, walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks him on the head with the nightstick. The passenger asks, "what'd you do that for?" The cop says, "just making your wish come true." The passenger asks, "making what wish come true?" The cop says, "I know that, two miles down the road, you're gonna say to your buddy, 'I wish that asshole had tried that shit with me!'" | |
Joke by baldlice, in Jokes with no home > Police - Tagged america , asshole , cops - Current Score: 80 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| A doctor walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to 'write' with it. Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and said, "Fuckin' helll... some asshole's got my pen." | |
Joke by tommo, in Sex and shit > Young Girls - Tagged nurse , bank , asshole - Current Score: 77 - Added: 1 year, 8 months ago
| The dying thoughts of a 9/11 victim: Is it a bird...? Is it a plane...? OH SHIT, IT IS A PLANE!!!! | |
Joke by alastairmckee, in Celebrity and news events > 9/11 - Tagged shit , racism , nigger , fuck , nun , swearing , asshole , alastair mckee - Current Score: 72 - Added: 1 year, 8 months ago
| I used to be a necrophiliac... Until the rotten cunt split on me. | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Necrophilia - Tagged gay , one liners , necrophilia , asshole - Current Score: 50 - Added: 2 years, 1 month ago
| Tony and Harold, two avid fisherman and well-known drunks, were out in a boat on their favourite lake one day drowning some worms and polishing off some brews. Suddenly, Tony got what he thought was a nibble. Reeling it in he found a bottle with a cork in it. Naturally curious, he uncorked the bottle and a large genie appeared. The genie said, "I will grant you one wish." Tony thought for a second and said, "I wish this whole lake was beer." Poof! His wish came true. The lake was now filled with their favourite brew. Harold looked at Tony in disgust and said, "You asshole, now we have to piss in the boat." | |
Joke by stopher, in Jokes with no home > Fish - Tagged fishing , boat , lake , asshole - Current Score: 49 - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago
| All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. "I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen." "I should be in charge," said the blood, "Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you'd all waste away." "I should be in charge," said the stomach,"Because I process food and give all of you energy." "I should be in charge," said the legs, "because I carry the body wherever it needs to go." "I should be in charge," said the eyes, "Because I allow the body to see where it goes." "I should be in charge," said the rectum, "Because I'm responsible for waste removal." All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss. The Moral of the story? The asshole is usually in charge!! | |
Joke by lanttans, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged asshole , body parts , in charge - Current Score: 48 - Added: 1 year, 7 months ago
Page 1 of 4 - Next Page
Rhubarb spent 0.05ms doing 15 queries and 0.09s processing.
Sickipedia v2.75 - a cr3ative media® project. © '05-09 Rob Manuel