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| A tramp walks into a jewellers, puts his hands down his trousers and starts fingering his arsehole. The sales assistant shouts at him 'Stop what you're doing and get out!' The tramp says 'You want to make your fucking minds up, you've a sign on the window says come inside and pick your ring in comfort.' |    |
Joke by McLOVIN, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged anal , fingering , arse , ring , dirty , tramp , shop , assistant , comfort - Current Score: 124 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| A bloke goes into the Job Centre in Newcastle and sees a card advertising for a Gynaecologist's Assistant. Interested he goes to learn more. "Can you give me some more details about this?" he asks the guy behind the desk. The Job Centre guy sifts through his files and replies, "Uh - yes I've had quite a few enquiries about this job. The job entails you getting patients ready for the gynaecologist. You have to help them out of their underwear, lie them down and wash their nether regions. Then apply shaving foam and shave off all their pubic hair then rub in soothing oils so they're ready for the gynaecologist's examination. There's an annual salary of £45,000 but I'm afraid you'll have to travel to Oxford." "Oh why, is that where the job's based?" "No. That's where the end of the queue is" | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Gynaecologist - Tagged job , oxford , queue , gynaecology , newcastle , assistant - Current Score: 85 - Added: 9 months, 23 days ago
| I went shopping with my new girlfriend the other day. She spent ages in a card shop just browsing the shelves. I said "If you can't find what you want go and ask the assistant" So she walked up to the assistant and said "Excuse me, do you have any 'Sorry I laughed at your penis' cards?" | |
Joke by staffer, in Jokes with no home > Girlfriend - Tagged penis , laughed , assistant , card , girlfriend - Current Score: 56 - Added: 4 months, 28 days ago
| A very badly behaved little boy refuses to get off of a very expensive rocking horse on display in a department store. His embarrassed mother eventually gives in and asks for some help from a shop assistant. "Don't worry" says the assistant "We employ a very qualified child psychologist at our store to deal with this kind of thing". She makes a quick call and within minutes he appears, goes over to the unruly brat and gently whispers in his ear. The child imediately dismounts the horse and once again joins his mother. The shop assistant looks admiringly at the psychologist and says "That was amazing, what did you say to him?". He leans to her and quietly says "Get off that horse now or i'll kick the fuck out of you, you little bastard!". | |
Joke by CUTTSY, in Jokes with no home > Advice - Tagged rocking , horse , assistant , child , psychologist , dismounts , bastard - Current Score: 47 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| A Essex girl went into a sex shop and asked the assistant for a vibrator. Wagging his finger at her, he said, "Come this way." She replied, If I could come that way, I wouldn't need a vibrator." | |
Joke by peeps, in Sex and shit > Essex Girls - Tagged essex girl , sex shop , assistant , vibrator - Current Score: 42 - Added: 10 months ago
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