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| With Britain becoming worse and worse by the day, I propose that we all seek asylum somewhere. I suggest Pakistan: We could build a huge church in the middle of Islamabad that dominates the skyline, set up chippys and shops on every corner, assault the locals who dare to come into "our" part of town, set up specialist shops selling pork products and non-halal meat, protest to the government that the name "Ramadan" is offensive to our religion, and ask that they make it more inclusive by changing it to "Starve Yourself Fest." |    |
Joke by Angryinfidel, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged asylum , ramadan , pakistan - Current Score: 1671 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| The Bird Feeder I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it lovingly with seed. It was indeed a beautiful bird feeder. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food. But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table and next to the barbecue. Then came the bird shit. It was everywhere; on the patio tile, the chairs, the table... everywhere! Then some of the birds turned mean. They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket. And others birds were boisterous and loud. They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food.After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore. So took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone.I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio. Soon, the back yard was like it used to be ... quiet, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal. Now let's see.... Our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, and free education and allows anyone born here to be an automatic citizen.Then the illegal?s came by the millions. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 or more families; you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by a doctor in an emergency room because it is filled with illegals; Your child's 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English. Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to 'press one' to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than 'The Union Jack' are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties.It?s just my opinion but: Maybe, just maybe, it's time for the government to take down the damn bird feeder. | |
Joke by parktower, in Religion and racism > Assylum Seekers - Tagged britain , birds , asylum , illegals - Current Score: 82 - Added: 8 months ago
| A doctor at the asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well. As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, ''Up nuts!'' And the inmates complied by standing up. After the anthem he yelled, ''Down nuts!'' And they all sat. After a home run he yelled, ''Cheer nuts!'' And they all broke into applause and cheers. Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge. When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he asked what happened. The assistant replied, ''Well...everything was fine until some guy walked by and yelled, ''PEANUTS!'' | |
Joke by AS, in Illness and mortality > Mental - Tagged mental , asylum - Current Score: 43 - Added: 5 months ago
| What's the difference between an asylum seeker and a letter? You can send a letter back to where it came from. | |
Joke by stig2112, in Jokes with no home > Whats The Difference... - Tagged asylum , letter - Current Score: 37 - Added: 4 months ago
| During a visit to an insane asylum, a visitor asked the Director what were the criteria defining whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. "Well," said the Director, "One test is that we fill up a bathtub and offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub." "Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the teaspoon or the teacup." "Well, no," said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a room with or without a view?" | |
Joke by lurch_555, in Illness and mortality > A Man Was...... - Tagged asylum - Current Score: 34 - Added: 9 months ago
| An inmate at an asylum proclaimed loudly:"I am Napoleon!" "How do you know?"asks a fellow inmate. "God told me." he replied smugly A voice from next door shouted "I did fucking not!" | |
Joke by salmon337, in Illness and mortality > Mental - Tagged napoleon , napolean , god , asylum , inmate , insane , mental - Current Score: 22 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| 60,000 assylum seekers have found work in britain in the past year 50% work in the premiership | |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > Assylum Seekers - Tagged asylum , work , britain - Current Score: 13 - Added: 8 months ago
| Who sits in a nursery and plays with crayons? Gazza!!!!! | |
Joke by Guest, in Illness and mortality > A Man Was...... - Tagged gazza , paul , gascoigne , mental , asylum - Current Score: 6 - Added: 9 months ago
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