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| Have you ever seen these roadside protesters? They camp out all night hoping to prevent the completion of motorways. Well, yesterday one died of a heart attack. His doctor warned him weeks ago but the stupid fucker wouldn't have a bypass. |    |
Joke by pornstar, in Jokes with no home > Motorways - Tagged road , protester , motorway , bypass , heart , attack - Current Score: 110 - Added: 4 months ago
| I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it. | |
Joke by Hintonian, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged world , hate , attack , war - Current Score: 63 - Added: 4 months ago
| "I suffered an asthmatic attack the other day. I was walking down the street and three asthmatics snuck up behind me and stole my wallet. I know, I know, I should've heard them coming..." | |
Joke by Nayim, in Illness and mortality > Asthma - Tagged asthma , attack , wallet , cunt , emo philips - Current Score: 47 - Added: 5 months ago
| World War III. The U.S.A. have succeeded in building a fantastic computer that is able to solve any strategical or tactical problem. The military leaders are assembled in front of the new machine. They describe the situation to the computer and then ask it: "Shall we attack? Shall we retreat?" The computer computes for an hour and then comes up with the answer. "Yes!" The generals, rather stupefied, look at each other. Finally one of them asks the computer: "Yes, what?" After another fifteen minutes the computer replies: "Yes, Sir!" | |
Joke by baldlice, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged america , war , world war , computer , attack - Current Score: 36 - Added: 4 months ago
| Jamie Oliver has hit the headlines again, this time making a "stinging attack" on Britain's "Booze and Pies" culture. Personally I think its about time that someone made a stinging attack on Jamie Oliver, preferably with a baseball bat. | |
Joke by petejtool, in Jokes with no home > Arseholes - Tagged jamie oliver , booze , beer , pies , attack - Current Score: 19 - Added: 2 months, 28 days ago
| "The great thing about Glasgow now is that if there is a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards" - Billy Connolly | |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > Scottish - Tagged glasgow , attack , connolly , billy - Current Score: 14 - Added: 7 months, 27 days ago
| A 14-year-old boy has been injured in a vicious race attack. Thankfully, none of the other runners were affected. | |
Joke by JesusWasABastard, in Religion and racism > Aborigines - Tagged race , attack , runners - Current Score: 9 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| So the US government wants to build a memorial for all those killed in the September 11th attacks, but want to make it terrorist proof. Well I have the answer: Build a mosque. | |
Joke by bighairybollocks, in Celebrity and news events > 9/11 - Tagged 911 , mosque , terrorists , attack , total irony - Current Score: 5 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| I am odds on to win X Factor next year. My wife will die in childbirth and the kids will die of a rare disease. My dad will die of a heart attack and my mum will die of a broken heart. I will tell the judges that I was sexually abused and that I spent years in jail . I will admit that I am a crack addict but will cease if I win X Factor. And, if all else fails, I will cry in front of Cheryl-fucking-Cole and she will will get me through. Its so easy, life, innit? | |
Joke by justincider, in Celebrity and news events > X-factor - Tagged wife , childbirth , heart , attack , heart , shit , tv - Current Score: 3 - Added: 1 month ago
| Breeders have just bred a cross between a rottweiler and a st bernard,the result is it rips your fucking throat out then dumps your body at the hospital | |
Joke by tony.t, in Jokes with no home > Dog - Tagged animals , attack , death , mortality , doctors , hospitals , fighting , nigger , paki - Current Score: -1 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
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