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| Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. Man: "Hello?" Woman: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" Man: "Yes." Woman: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only two thousand pounds. Is it okay if I buy it?" Man: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much." Woman: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2008 models. I saw one I really liked." Man: "How much?" Woman: "I think its 68,000 pounds." Man: "Okay, but for that price I want it with all the options." Woman: "Great! Oh, and one more thing... The house we wanted last year is back on the market. The asking-price is 1.25 million." Man: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer 1 mil." Woman: "Okay, honey, you're the best! I love you!" Man: "Bye, I love you, too." The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. He starts to smile and asks: "Does anyone know whose phone this is?" |    |
Joke by b3tard, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged b3tard , phones - Current Score: 237 - Added: 11 months ago
| What's the difference between the government and organised crime? One is organised. | |
Joke by b3tard, in Celebrity and news events > Government - Tagged bad , omnononoonm , organized , crime , b3tard - Current Score: 193 - Added: 9 months ago
| Where does a female chav go to lose weight? The abortion clinic. | |
Joke by b3tard, in Religion and racism > Chavs - Tagged b3tard , female , chav , chavette , abortion , baby , dead , foetus - Current Score: 135 - Added: 9 months ago
| I want to live my next life backwards : You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day. Then you get kicked out for being too healthy. Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension. Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years until you're too young to work. You get ready for High School : drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous. Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities. Then you become a baby, and then... You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in Spa-like conditions - central heating, room service on tap, and then... You finish off as an orgasm. I rest my case. | |
Joke by b3tard, in Sex and shit > Orgasm - Tagged b3tard , bacwards , orgasm - Current Score: 120 - Added: 11 months ago
| What's the black stuff called in between elephants toes? Africans. Elephants dont have toes. | |
Joke by b3tard, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged black , b3tard - Current Score: 25 - Added: 9 months ago
| Two old drunks in a bar. The first one says, "You know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with either of my hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard. "By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem. I'm gonna be 60 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand" "So," says the second drunk, "what's your point?" "Well," says the first, "I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get!" | |
Joke by b3tard, in Jokes with no home > Stupid - Tagged erection , b3tard - Current Score: 18 - Added: 10 months ago
| How do you know Santa is a man 1.He turns up late. 2.Drinks your booze. 3.Emptys his sack. 4.Only comes once. And 5.Fucks off before you wake up!! | |
Joke by b3tard, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged santa , b3tard , cum , sac - Current Score: 15 - Added: 11 months ago
| Two women were at a bar. One looked at the other and said, "You know, 80 percent of all men think the best way to end an argument is to make love." "Well," said the other woman," that will certainly revolutionize the game of football!" | |
Joke by b3tard, in Jokes with no home > Football - Tagged woman!!! , b3tard - Current Score: 7 - Added: 10 months ago
| 6 truths of life 1.you cannot touch all your teeth with your tonuge 2.all idiots, after reading the first truth, try it 3.the first truth is a lie 4.your smiling now because your an idiot 5.how about you get off sickipedia AND DO SOME FUCKING WORK 6.you've still got a stupid grin on your face | |
Joke by b3tard, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged 1 , grin , truth , b3tard - Current Score: 2 - Added: 11 months ago
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