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| Two Irishmen are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden....... 'Hey Paddy, do you smell what I smell. It's bacon - I'm sure of it.' 'Yes, Mick, it smells like bacon to me.' So, with renewed strength, they struggle up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon. There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon... every imaginable kind of cured pig meat. 'Paddy, paddy we're saved. It is a bacon tree.' 'Mick, are you sure it's not a mirage? We are in the desert, don't forget.' 'Paddy, when did you ever hear of a mirage that smell like bacon? It's no mirage, it's a bacon tree.' And, with that, Mick races towards the tree. He gets to within five metres, Paddy following closely behind, when, all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up and Mick is cut down in his tracks. It is clear he is mortally wounded but, a true friend that he is, he manages to warn Paddy with his dying breath. 'Paddy... go back man, you was right it's not a bacon tree.' 'Mick, Mick ... what the fuck is it?' 'Paddy... its not a bacon tree... it's... it's... it's... it's a Ham Bush.' |    |
Joke by pornstar, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged bacon , paddy , irish , tree , machine gun , ham bush , back , pig , desert , smoked - Current Score: 151 - Added: 6 months ago
| My wife has got long black hair running down her back... God , How I wish it was on her head | |
Joke by welshmadman, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged wife , hairy , back , sex , love - Current Score: 80 - Added: 7 months ago
| I've just bought a baby p. watch. Its like a normal watch. But the hands, face and back are broken. | |
Joke by justincider, in Celebrity and news events > Baby P - Tagged watch , face , hands , back , broken - Current Score: 42 - Added: 6 days ago
| Paddy's girlfriend went to the doc's to get the contraceptive pill. Doc told her that she couldn't have it because she was already six month's pregnant. "I know I am pregnant," she exclaims to the Doc, "but Paddy has found this hole behind me and I don't want a lump on my back as well." | |
Joke by wwtf, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged pregnant , back , dumb , paddy , stupid , pill , arse - Current Score: 32 - Added: 7 months ago
| How long is a hair on a rabbit's back? About 10 minutes. | |
Joke by manning79, in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged rabbit , hair , minutes , back - Current Score: 29 - Added: 10 months ago
| You know you're getting old when your back goes out more than you do. | |
Joke by DDJ, in Illness and mortality > Old People - Tagged old age , back - Current Score: 27 - Added: 1 month, 27 days ago
| I hurt my back today.. I was playing piggy back with my 6 year old nephew, and I fell off. | |
Joke by stig2112, in Jokes with no home > Kids - Tagged back , nephew - Current Score: 24 - Added: 5 months ago
| What's the difference between a Lada and a sheep? It's less embarrassing being seen getting out of the back of a sheep. | |
Joke by cooperman, in Sex and shit > Bestiality - Tagged lada , sheep , embarressment , anal , back , cars - Current Score: 9 - Added: 10 months ago
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