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| An elderly English gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane. At the French immigration desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag. "You have been to France before, Monsieur?" the Immigration officer asked, sarcastically. The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously. "Then you should know well enough to have your passport ready." The English gentleman says, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it." "Impossible. All Englishmen have to show their passports on arrival in France!" The elderly gentleman gave the French Immigration Officer a long hard look. Then he quietly explained; "Well, the last time I was here, I came ashore on Juno Beach on D-Day in June 1944, and I couldn't find any fucking Frenchmen to show it to." |    |
Joke by pornstar, in Religion and racism > French - Tagged paris , plane , france , english , passport , bag , immigration , juno beach , 1944 , dday , cheese eating surrender monkeys , french - Current Score: 2137 - Added: 8 months, 27 days ago
| This man pulls up in his Merc beside a little boy. He opens the door, holds out a brown paper bag of sweets and says, "alright, little fella - if I give you a sweetie, will you come in my car?" To which the kid replies, "gimme the bag and I'll come in your mouth!" | |
Joke by caliban, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged paedo , bag , come , mouth , sweets - Current Score: 179 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| I went to my local supermarket and they offered me a 'bag for life' - I said "No thanks, I'm already married." | |
Joke by milo123, in Jokes with no home > Shaggy Dog Story - Tagged supermarket , bag , life - Current Score: 102 - Added: 8 months, 26 days ago
| A wise man once said, "you should treat your women the way you treat your vacuum cleaner - when it stops sucking, change the bag." | |
Joke by make_a_brew, in Sex and shit > Oral Sex - Tagged women , bag , suck , oral - Current Score: 48 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| Jade Goody was offered a bag for life when she went shopping in Tesco today. When she said yes, they gave her a paper one. | |
Joke by baldlice, in Celebrity and news events > Jade Goody - Tagged jade goody , life , bag , cancer , plastic - Current Score: 39 - Added: 2 months ago
| George wakes up in hospital after a serious operation. "I have good news and bad news," says the doctor. "The good news is that we managed to save your testicles." "Thank God," says George. "And what's the bad news?" The doctor replies, "they're in a bag under your pillow." | |
Joke by cooperman, in Illness and mortality > Doctor - Tagged testicles , pillow , operation , bag , hospital - Current Score: 34 - Added: 10 months ago
| A Rastafarian walks into a bank and hands the cashier a bag full of marijuana. "Sir, what's this for?" says the suprised lady. The Rasta replies "Mi come to open a joint account." | |
Joke by billysollocks, in Religion and racism > Nigger - Tagged marijuana , rasta , bank , joint , account , bag , cannabis - Current Score: 31 - Added: 1 month ago
| My mate in the pub had a DIY breathalyser: it was a bag that told him when he'd had too much to drink. I have no need for it though, I married one. | |
Joke by staffer, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged married , breathalyser , bag , told - Current Score: 30 - Added: 4 months ago
| What is it with all the supermarkets asking you to take your old bag shopping ? I tried it the other day and the fucking bitch spent a fortune. | |
Joke by BruceWillis, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged supermarket , bag , shopping - Current Score: 23 - Added: 6 months ago
| How do you make paper babies? Fuck an old bag. | |
Joke by Emm, in Sex and shit > Other - Tagged fuck , bag , babies , questionanswer , paper , old - Current Score: 5 - Added: 3 months ago
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