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| A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you." The barber puts a 2 pound coin in one hand and two 50ps in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the two 50ps and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!" Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy next to an ice cream van. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take two 50ps instead of the 2 pound coin?" The boy licked his ice cream cone and replied, "Because, the day I take the 2 pound coin, the game is over." |    |
Joke by famous amos, in Jokes with no home > Money - Tagged barber , coin - Current Score: 189 - Added: 1 month, 28 days ago
| I asked my barber the best thing for baldness. "Fanny juice!" he said. "Bollocks" I replied, "You're balder than me!", "Yes, but what a magnificent moustache!" he quipped. | |
Joke by bobajob, in Sex and shit > 69 - Tagged barber , oral sex , cunnilingus , fanny juice , moustache - Current Score: 95 - Added: 6 months ago
| I went to the barbers the other day.He said,"shall I cut your hair round the back sir?" I said,"what the fuck for, what's wrong with doing it in the shop?" | |
Joke by MICK THE MAG, in Jokes with no home > Hairdresser - Tagged barber , cut , short back amp sides - Current Score: 75 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks, "how long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "about two hours." The guy leaves. A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, "how long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around at shop full of customers and says, "About three hours." The guy leaves. A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, "how long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says, "about an hour and half." The guy leaves again. The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says, "hey, Bill, follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then doesn't come back." A little while later, Bill comes back into the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asks, "Bill, where did he go when he left here?" Bill looks up, tears in his eyes and says, "your house!" | |
Joke by drasl, in Sex and shit > Adultery - Tagged haircut , barber - Current Score: 74 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| I went to the barber's yesterday. He said, "you're starting to go bald." I said, "well, get a fucking move on then." | |
Joke by MICK THE MAG, in Jokes with no home > Hairdresser - Tagged barber , bawldy coot - Current Score: 57 - Added: 1 month ago
| The other day I asked my hairdresser if I could have highlights,and he showed me a video of past haircuts. | |
Joke by MICK THE MAG, in Jokes with no home > Hairdresser - Tagged barber , haircut , highlights , video - Current Score: 17 - Added: 1 month ago
| I went to the barbers for a haircut today. When he finished he said, "Would sir like anything on?" I replied, "Yes, a pair of knickers, please - you've made me look like a cunt." | |
Joke by geemack, in Jokes with no home > Hairdresser - Tagged haircut , knickers , cunt , barber , barbers - Current Score: 4 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| Did you hear about the jewish barber? He only took a little bit off the top | |
Joke by smiddy, in Religion and racism > Jews - Tagged circumcision , jews , barber - Current Score: -4 - Added: 1 week ago
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