Sorted by: Highest Scoring | Lowest Scoring | Newest | Oldest
Showing all jokes.
| A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street together, and they both want a drink, but they have no money on them. The priest says, "I've got an idea how to get us some free drinks." He walks in alone and the rabbi stands at the door and watches. The priest orders a drink, drinks it, and then the bartender gives him his tab. The priest says, "but my son, I've already paid for the drink." The bartender says, "I'm terribly sorry, father, but it's really busy in here and I must have forgotten." The rabbi walks in and orders a drink. After he drinks it, the bartender gives him the tab, and the rabbi says, "Son, I paid you when I ordered the drink." The bartender says, "I'm terribly sorry, rabbi, I don't know what's wrong with me, but that's the second time that happened to me today." The rabbi says, "That's okay, son, no offence taken. Now, just give me change for the twenty I gave you, and I'll be on my way." |    |
Joke by niggers out, in Sex and shit > Adultery - Tagged jew , jewish , priest , bartender , drink - Current Score: 34 - Added: 9 months ago
| A doctor regularly has a drink at this bar after office hours. Every night the same thing, a daiquiri with an almond in it. One night he orders the regular and the bartender is a bit annoyed to find that they are out of almonds. Not wanting to lose a good customer he scrounges around and finally comes up with a hickory nut and serves that in the daiquiri, thinking the doctor wouldn't notice. Unfortunately the doctor picks up on it right away and asks, "what the fuck is this?" The quick thinking bartender replied "that's a hickory daiquiri doc." | |
Joke by mamma mia, in Illness and mortality > Doctor - Tagged doctor , daiquiri , drink , bartender - Current Score: 32 - Added: 3 months, 25 days ago
| A man walks into a New York City bar and says to the bartender, who happens to be Chinese, "Give me a Stoli with a twist." The Bartender responds, "A rong, rong time ago Cindelelra was a man...." | |
Joke by Cleveland, in Religion and racism > Chinese - Tagged chinese , bartender , racist - Current Score: 26 - Added: 2 months ago
| A man walks in to a bar, and says "G-g-gimme a b-b-beer." The bartender says, "Seems as though you've got a major stuttering problem." The man replies, "N-n-no k-k-k-idding!" The bartender says, "I used to stutter, but my wife cured me. One afternoon she gave me oral sex three times in a row, and I haven't stuttered since!" The man says, "W-w-wow, th-th-that's great to kn-kn-know..." A week later, the same man walks in to the bar, and says, "G-g-gimme a b-b-beer." The bartender says, "Why didn't you try what I told you?" "I d-d-did!" said the man, "It d-d-didn't w-w-work... ....b-b-but I m-m-must say, you have a r-r-really n-n-nice apartment!" | |
Joke by sick prick, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged stutter , bartender , wife , oral sex - Current Score: 24 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| So this guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "give me two single whiskies." "Sure," the bartender replies. "Do you want them both now or one at a time?" "Oh, both now," replies the guy. "One's for me and one's for my little friend here," and, with that, the guy pulls a three inch tall man out of his shirt pocket. The Bartender looked at the little man in amazement and asked, "Can he drink?" "Sure," replied the guy and, with that, the three inch tall man supped back his whiskey. "That's amazing," replied the bartender. "What else can he do? Can he walk?" With that the guy flips a quarter down to the other end of the bar and asks the little fella to get it. Sure enough, he runs down the bar and retrieves the coin, picks it up and jogs back to the guy. "That really is amazing," replied the bartender. "Can he talk?" "Of course," says the guy. "Hey, Jim, tell him about that time we were in Africa and you called that witch-doctor a wanker..." | |
Joke by cindii, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged whiskey , africa , bartender , drink - Current Score: 14 - Added: 6 months ago
| A man from Texas buys a round of drinks for everyone in the bar as he announces his wife has just produced "A typical Texas baby boy weighing twenty pounds." Congratulations shower all around, and many exclamations of 'wow!' are heard. Two weeks later he returns to the bar. The bartender says, 'Say, you're the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed twenty pounds at birth, aren't you? How much does the baby weigh now?' The proud father answers, 'fifteen pounds.' The bartender is puzzled. 'Why? What happened? He already weighed twenty pounds at birth.' The Texas father takes a slow sip from his beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans over to the bartender and proudly announces, 'Had him circumcised!' | |
Joke by darylsws, in Sex and shit > Pregnancy - Tagged baby , texas , bartender , beer - Current Score: 10 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
Showing all jokes.
Custurd spent 0.04ms doing 8 queries and 0.01s processing. She's 1.07% angry.
Sickipedia v2.7 - a cr3ative media® project. © '05-09 Rob Manuel