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| I went to see Chubby Brown at the weekend. As soon as he came on stage I started shouting, "You fat bastard! You fat bastard!" Then I was told by security that that sort of behaviour wasn't tolerated at the Labour party conference. |    |
Joke by milo123, in Celebrity and news events > Gordon Brown - Tagged chubby , brown , gordon , fat , bastard - Current Score: 855 - Added: 1 month, 29 days ago
| A man walks into a pet shop, puts a bomb on the counter and says, "You've got one minute to get out of here before the place blows!" A tortoise in the back shouts, "You bastard!" | |
Joke by superhorse, in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged pet shop , tortoise , bomb , bastard - Current Score: 184 - Added: 7 months, 26 days ago
| Be proud to be British.We know exactly where every untaxed car is located among the millions of car owners in the UK, but we haven't got a fucking clue where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe Gordon Brown should put the fucking DVLA in charge of immigration. | |
Joke by bobbydgg, in Religion and racism > Immigrant - Tagged proud , dvla , british , untaxed , immigrants , terrorists , gordan brown , wanker , cunt , twat , bastard - Current Score: 166 - Added: 1 year ago
| I was walking along the street the other day when I slipped in dog shit. A minute later, some guy did exactly the same. I said to him, "I just did that." So he punched me in the face and called me a dirty bastard. | |
Joke by stu71, in Sex and shit > Shit - Tagged shit , bastard - Current Score: 129 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| My boss really is a bastard. He calls me in to his office and says, "You know, I really don't know how we would cope without you..." and just as I get my hopes up he continues, "...but starting Monday we're going to try." | |
Joke by The Wolf, in Jokes with no home > Boss - Tagged boss , bastard , sacked , twat - Current Score: 124 - Added: 4 months ago
| What's the best thing about Stevie Wonder jokes on Sickipedia? You can write whatever you want about the black bastard, and he'll never read it. | |
Joke by albinobob123, in Celebrity and news events > Stevie Wonder - Tagged blind , black , bastard , stevie wonder - Current Score: 104 - Added: 8 months, 23 days ago
| A woman gets into a taxi with her 8 year old kid. The driver takes them through a red light district. The kid asks his Mum, "Why are all those ladies standing shivering in the street?" Blushing, his mum replies, "They're all waiting for taxis to take them to a party." Abdul the driver chips in, "Tell the kid the truth lady: they're all drug crazed hookers who get down for a dog if the price is right." The kid asks his Mum, "Do these ladies have children?" The Mum replies, "Yes dear, they grow up to be taxi drivers." | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Prostitution - Tagged paki taxi , hooker , prostitute , druggie , smack head , bitch , slag , bastard , gold digger - Current Score: 98 - Added: 1 year ago
| A son from a poor family wins five million pounds on the lottery. He goes home and gives his dad five hundred quid. The old man looks at the cash and says, "thanks, son, this money will mean a lot to me. We've never had much in this family, we've always been poor. You know, I couldn't even afford to marry your mother." "What!" exclaims the son, "you mean I'm.......well.......a bastard?" "Yep," replies his dad, "and a fucking tight one, too." | |
Joke by staffer, in Jokes with no home > Lottery - Tagged bastard , marry , poor , million , lottery , tight - Current Score: 98 - Added: 3 months ago
| I went home from work early today and found the plumber shagging my dog. I phoned the police and they said there was nothing they could do. They said the bastard was Corgi Registered. | |
Joke by bobbydgg, in Sex and shit > plumber - Tagged plumber , shag , dog , bastard , sick - Current Score: 96 - Added: 9 months, 30 days ago
| Tiger Woods has said sorry for his remark that, "He played like a spaz" in the US Open. A spokesman for the Spastics Society said, "We all make mistakes. Even I once walked out of Tesco's without paying for a newspaper that was in the bottom of the trolley and I said to Tiger, "I thought that I had behaved like a thieving black bastard." | |
Joke by pornstar, in Celebrity and news events > Tiger Woods - Tagged black , bastard , tesco , tiger , golf , trolley , spastic - Current Score: 61 - Added: 11 months ago
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