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| I just read this joke on Sickipedia by adam6177: "I just don't get it, everyone goes on about David Beckham being thick...... but no cunt says anything about Stephen Hawking being shit at football, do they?!" Give credit where it's due, mate - he's great at dribbling. |    |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Celebrity and news events > Stephen Hawking - Tagged stephen hawking , sickipedia , beckham - Current Score: 1031 - Added: 3 months, 24 days ago
| Why did David Beckham have a bald head? Because Victoria's mate said her sex life would be better if she shaved her twat! | |
Joke by bleugh, in Celebrity and news events > David Beckham - Tagged david , victoria , beckham , twat - Current Score: 203 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| David Beckham, when not playing football that day, decides to go horse riding. Although he has no previous experience, he skillfully mounts the horse and appears in complete control as the horse gallops along at a steady pace. Victoria watches him admiringly. After a while, David becomes a little too casual and begins to lose his grip in the saddle. He panics and grabs the horse round it's neck and calls for it to stop. Victoria screams and shouts for someone to help. David slips completely out of the saddle and is only saved from hitting the ground because he is still clutching the horse's neck. David decides his best chance is to leap away, but his foot becomes entangled in the stirrup. David's head is now banging along the ground and he is slipping into unconsciousness. Victoria is really starting to panic now, and screams at the top of her voice. Hearing her screams, one of the supermarket security guards comes out of the store and unplugs the horse. | |
Joke by D dude, in Celebrity and news events > David Beckham - Tagged posh , beckham , becks , horse , supermarket - Current Score: 101 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| For those who don't know what Victoria's Secret is, David Beckham has a tiny penis. | |
Joke by baldlice, in Sex and shit > Victorias Secret - Tagged victorias secret , secret , beckham , posh , shhhh - Current Score: 94 - Added: 3 months ago
| David Beckham is due on the pitch for a training session and he's nowhere to be seen. His new Galaxy manager goes looking for him and finds him in the dressing room and says, "hey, David, why are you in here and not on the pitch?" David says, "I'm trying to do this jigsaw puzzle that Victoria gave me." Manager: "I don't care about a damn puzzle, get out on the pitch." David: "No.. I've been trying for weeks to do this jigsaw, and it's all I can think of right now." Manager: "What's the puzzle of?" David: "It's a tiger." The manager looks over David's shoulder at the puzzle laid out on the floor and says, "For fucks sake! Put the Frosties back in box and get out on the pitch!" | |
Joke by spazzy, in Celebrity and news events > Posh And Becks - Tagged beckham , david , football , dimwit - Current Score: 88 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| I like David Beckham. Most of us have skeletons in our closet, but he takes his out in public. | |
Joke by ididyourmom, in Celebrity and news events > David Beckham - Tagged beckham , skeleton , victoria - Current Score: 63 - Added: 3 months ago
| After constant criticism of his wife, David Beckham has sprung to her defence. "She's worth her weight in gold," he is quoted as saying. So that'll be £4.36 then David. | |
Joke by marley, in Celebrity and news events > David Beckham - Tagged beckham - Current Score: 63 - Added: 2 months, 25 days ago
| David Beckham is in training with Ryan Giggs. They are both joking and messing about when a furious Alex Ferguson comes up to them to give them a piece of his mind. "Lads, after todays performance you two can stay behind for extra training." Beckham and Giggs are gutted and then wait for the end of the session. Ferguson and the boys go home and it's just the two of them. "Let's just go home," says Giggsy, "who will know?" So they both go home to their respective houses. Beckham goes upstairs to hear passionate moaning and screaming coming from the bedroom. Becks goes to investigate and puts his head round the door to see Fergie pumping away at Victoria and is horrified. The next day in training Beckham and Giggs are fucking around when Fergie tells them both to stay behind again. Giggs turns to Beckham and says, "Let's just go home early again." "Fuck you," replies Beckham, "I nearly got caught yesterday." | |
Joke by mycockisbiggerthanyours, in Celebrity and news events > David Beckham - Tagged beckham , david , victoria , david beckham , victoria beckham , fergie , alex ferguson , giggs , ryan giggs , giggsy , man utd , manchester united , united , training , football - Current Score: 46 - Added: 9 months ago
| David Beckham and Gary Neville are sitting watching the 5 'o' clock news where a man is threatening to jump off a bridge. Beckham says to Gary Neville " I bet you £100 that he doesn't jump", Gary Neville replies '"OK I bet you £100 that he DOES jump" Sure enough the man jumped off of the bridge and killed himself. Beckham gets out £100 and gives it to Gary. Gary says "I can't take your money, it wouldn't be fair. You're my best mate and all that............ I had watched the 12 'o' clock news earlier and it was on then, so I knew he was going to jump" Beckham replied "I watched the 12 'o' clock news as well but i didn't think that he would jump again" | |
Joke by Gobshite, in Celebrity and news events > David Beckham - Tagged beckham , bridge , gary neville - Current Score: 44 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| Posh and Becks get picked up at the airport and on their way home the driver says to them "Been anywhere nice then?". David says "Ummm...what's the name of that station in London?". "Paddington?" the driver offers. "No, that's not it" "King's Cross?" "No" "Waterloo?" "No" "Liverpool Street?" "No. It's got a big bus station too". "Victoria?" "Yes, that's it. Oi, Victoria, where have we just been?" | |
Joke by cc1957, in Celebrity and news events > Posh And Becks - Tagged beckham - Current Score: 28 - Added: 11 months ago
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