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The bee.
Nature's very own suicide bomber. |  |
I went to casualty yesterday and said to the nurse, "I've been stung by a wasp, have you got anything for it?"
The nurse replied, "whereabout's is it?"
I said, "I don't know, it'll be fucking miles away by now." |  |
A young married couple were sunning themselves on a nudist beach when a wasp buzzed into the woman's vagina. The husband quickly covered her with his jacket, threw his clothes on, carried her to the car and raced to the hospital. After examining her, the doctor explained that the wasp was too far in to be reached and suggested that the husband tried to entice it out by putting honey on the tip of his penis, penetrating her and withdrawing as soon as he felt the wasp. The husband agreed but was so nervous that he couldn't rise to the occasion.
Then the doctor said "If neither of you object I could give it a try."
Under the circumstances, both agreed. The doctor quickly undressed, dipped his penis in honey and mounted the woman. The husband watched with increasing alarm as the doctor began thrusting forcefully and showed no signs of pulling out.
"Hey! What's going on?" demanded the husband eventually.
"Change of plan," gasped the doctor. "I'm going to drown the little bastard!" |  |
| My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee - the natural enemy of a tightrope walker." |  |
In the middle of the harvesting, one of the farmhands had to obey the call of nature. He went to the edge of the field and started peeing. Most unfortunately, he was stung by a bee right on the "tip."
The pain was unbearable, but he knew a piece of good advice. He went to the farmers house and put his penis in buttermilk. At that moment the farmers daughter came in. With her face red, she stood perfectly still looking at him.
"Have you never seen one of these before?" the farmhand asked.
To which the girl replied, "Yes, but this is the first time I see one being reloaded! |  |
A man was driving down the road and ran out of petrol. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window.
The bee said, "What seems to be the problem"?
"I'm out of petrol."
The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his petrol tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out.
"Try it now," said one bee.
The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up.
"Wow!" the man exclaimed. "What did you put in my petrol tank"?
The bee answered, "BP." |  |
"I got stung by a bee yesterday.
£20 for a jar of honey? Outrageous." |  |
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