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| Due to an irregular betting pattern, William Hill has suspended betting on all this week's football.......it seems someone placed a £10 bet on Tottenham to win. |    |
Joke by geemack, in Celebrity and news events > Tottenham Hotspur - Tagged betting , william hill , spurs - Current Score: 152 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| Little Johnny is in class, and the teacher is asking the children what their parents do for a living. She asks a non-too-bright pupil what his father does, and he answers "he's a sheet metal worker." The teacher says "OK, can you spell that for me?" "S-H-E-T..." "No, that's not quite right, try again." "S-H-I..." "No, sorry, that's not it either. Go round the back of the blackboard and write it out with this chalk until it looks right." The kid takes the chalk and dutifully walks around the blackboard and starts writing. The teacher says, "Right, Johnny, what does your father do for a living?" Johnny says, "he's a bookie." "You mean a bookmaker. Can you spell that for me?" "No, but I'll give you two to one he writes shit on that blackboard" | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > 2 Girls 1 Cup - Tagged little johnny , class , teacher , blackboard , betting , gambling - Current Score: 54 - Added: 8 months ago
| A woman came up to me and said, "During the Olympics, it's important to remember Tibet." I agree wholeheartedly, so I've stuck twenty quid on Phillips Idowu to take gold in the triple jump. That was 20 quid down the drain, | |
Joke by mrluxuryyacht, in Celebrity and news events > Olympics - Tagged olympics , tibet , betting - Current Score: 24 - Added: 3 months ago
| Just been to the Bookies. You can get 50-1 if you bet on Jade Goody and Wendy Richard to die on the same day, so, I've bet £1,000. You can get a good hit man for ten grand, so I should be quids in. | |
Joke by baldlice, in Celebrity and news events > Jade Goody - Tagged goody , cancer , assassination , betting , richard - Current Score: 18 - Added: 1 month ago
| According to Yahoo News, its America's casino mentality that has caused the current financial crisis. And now it looks like they will be betting everything on black in a few weeks time. | |
Joke by baldlice, in Celebrity and news events > Credit Crunch - Tagged presidential roulette , betting , casino , credit crunch , elections , black president - Current Score: 14 - Added: 1 month ago
| This deaf mute strolls into a chemist's shop to buy a packet of condoms. Unfortunately, the mute cannot see any of his required brand on the shelves, and the chemist, unable to decipher sign language, fails to understand what the man wants. Frustrated, the deaf mute decides to take drastic action: he unzips his trousers and drops his penis on the counter, before placing a £5 note next to it. Nodding, the chemist unzips his own trousers, performs the same manoeuvres as the mute, then picks up both notes and stuffs them in his pocket. Exasperated, the deaf mute begins to curse the chemist with a wild gesturing of his arms "Sorry," the chemist says, shrugging his shoulders. "But if you can't afford to lose, you shouldn't gamble." | |
Joke by King Mustard, in Jokes with no home > Gambling - Tagged betting , gambling , chemist , chemists , deaf mute - Current Score: 1 - Added: 6 months ago
| For months a little boy had been pestering his dad to take him to the Zoo. Eventually dad gives in and off they go.When they get back the boy's mother asks him if he had a good time. "It was great," replies the boy."And daddy had fun too,especially when one of the animals came home at 50-1" | |
Joke by cooperman, in Jokes with no home > Gambling - Tagged dad animals , zoo , betting , pestering , boy - Current Score: 1 - Added: 11 months ago
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