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| Why is the bible like a penis? You get it forced down your throat by a priest. |    |
Joke by ht, in Religion and racism > Priest - Tagged penis , bible , priest - Current Score: 1200 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| Jesus told us to love everybody. He never said it had to be consensual. | |
Joke by bleary, in Sex and shit > Rape - Tagged rohypnol , sexual assault , jesus , bible , christianity , love everybody - Current Score: 144 - Added: 2 months, 28 days ago
| A clergyman was staying overnight in a hotel. Before he went to sleep for the night, he had a read of the Bible. He was awoken next morning by the maid, with a cup of tea. He said to the maid, "fancy a quick shag my dear?" The maid said, "but you're a man of the cloth, that can't be right!" He said, "it's all right dear, it says so in the Bible!" She hopped into bed with the reverend gentleman and they did a bit of horizontal jogging. When it was over, the maid got out of the bed and said, "I'd like you to show me the passage in the Bible, where it says it's alright". The vicar opened the bedside table drawer, took out the Gideon's Bible and opened the cover. Someone had written in there, "ask the maid if she fancies a shag, she usually does!" | |
Joke by geebee, in Religion and racism > Vicar - Tagged clergy , hotel , maid , quick lay , bible - Current Score: 77 - Added: 1 month ago
| Why does the bible rant on about how wrong incest and homosexuality are? With Adam and Eve dumped in the garden of Eden with just two sons, they weren't exactly left with many options, were they? | |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Religion and racism > Bible - Tagged bible , religion , homosexuality , incest , adam and eve , garden of eden , hypocrisy - Current Score: 54 - Added: 3 months ago
| Don't bother reading that Bible book.......he dies in the end! | |
Joke by troyboy, in Religion and racism > Jesus - Tagged jesus , bible , dead - Current Score: 35 - Added: 4 months ago
| What's the difference between Christians and former Christians? Former Christians have read the bible. | |
Joke by hardoff, in Religion and racism > Christianity - Tagged christians , bible - Current Score: 32 - Added: 10 months ago
| The bible says 'do unto others as you would have them do to you.' So is this God saying that I should grope my hot neighbour? | |
Joke by charlieeee, in Religion and racism > Bible - Tagged others , neighbour , bible , grope - Current Score: 27 - Added: 4 months ago
| I got kicked out of Borders once for moving all the Bibles to the fiction section. | |
Joke by post-sanity, in Religion and racism > Christianity - Tagged bible , borders , fiction - Current Score: 26 - Added: 1 month ago
| THE HOLY BIBLE: A book in which, in the first chapter, an all-powerful, all-seeing and all-knowing God creates Mankind in His own image, then spends the remaining sixty-five chapters marking out things that Mankind isn't allowed to do, see or know. | |
Joke by 8 ace, in Religion and racism > Christianity - Tagged bible , god , christianity - Current Score: 23 - Added: 6 months ago
| There once was a minister in a small French town. He had always been a good man and lived by the Bible. One day God decided to reward him, with the answer to any three questions that he would like to ask. The minister did not need much time to consider, and the first question was: "Will there ever be married Catholic priests?" God promptly replied: "No, not in your life-time." The minister thought for a while, and then came up with the second question: "what about female Bishops then, will we have that one day?" For a second time, God had to disappoint him: "Again, not in your life-time, I'm afraid." The minister looked disappointed and pondered long and hard before speaking again. After having thought for a while, he asked his last question: "Will there ever be another French pope?" God answered quickly: "Not in my fucking life-time." | |
Joke by Mrwolf, in Religion and racism > French - Tagged french , bible , god , catholic - Current Score: 21 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
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