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| An old man walks into the local Cathedral and says to the rector, "I would like to join this fucking church." The astonished man replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen, damn it. I said I want to join this fucking church!" "I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church." The rector leaves his desk and goes into the bishop's study to inform him of the situation. The Bishop agrees that the rector does not have to listen to that foul language. They both return to his office and the Bishop asks the old geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?" "There is no damn problem," the man says. "I just won 5 million quid on the fucking lottery and I want to join this fucking church to get rid of some of this fucking money." "I see," said the Bishop, "and is this cunt giving you a hard time?" |    |
Joke by P45, in Jokes with no home > Money - Tagged money , lottery , bishop , cathedral - Current Score: 178 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| Bishops tried to take a step forward by introducing female Bishops. It failed. Everyone knows Bishops can only move diagonally. | |
Joke by albinobob123, in Celebrity and news events > Female Bishops - Tagged bishop , chess , jimmy carr - Current Score: 172 - Added: 4 months ago
| A Priest is fishing with his mate and catches something. "That's a huge fucker you've got there father," says the friend. "Watch your language around a man of God," replies the Priest. A little embarassed, the friend lies and tells the Priest that the species of fish is called a "fucker". The Priest takes home the fish and talks to the Bishop and explains about catching the "fucker". "I'll clean the fucker and we can have it for dinner tonight when the Pope comes round." So he cleans it and then shows it to the Cardinal, who says he'll cook the "fucker" for the Pope tonight. The Pope comes round for dinner and comments on the lovely fish and, eager to please, the Priest exclaims, "I caught the fucker!" The Bishop cries, "I cleaned the fucker!" And the Cardinal continues, "I cooked the fucker!" The Pope takes a moments thought, looks around the table at them and says, "You know, you cunts are alright." | |
Joke by savech1p, in Religion and racism > Pope - Tagged pope , cardinal , priest , bishop , fishing , dinner - Current Score: 110 - Added: 5 months, 28 days ago
| My Mother told me if I kept bashing the bishop I would be punished by going blind. Well, she was wrong. I got 3 years instead. | |
Joke by baldlice, in Religion and racism > Bishop - Tagged bishop , bashing , mother , prison sentance - Current Score: 90 - Added: 3 months ago
| The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again. The local paper read:PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS. This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10. This was all too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE! The bishop was buried the next day. The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life. So be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer! | |
Joke by niggers out, in Sex and shit > 69 - Tagged nun , ass , donkey , bishop - Current Score: 43 - Added: 10 months ago
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