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| Out of his tiny mind on the jungle juice, Brian opens the front door as quietly as he can and creeps inside... Terrified of waking his generally irate bitch of a wife, he begins to tip-toe up the stairs. Unfortunately, he slips on the first step and lands hard on his arse, smashing the empty bottle of whiskey he had been idiotically carrying in his back pocket. Undeterred, he staggers up the stairs, goes into the bathroom and turns the light on. "Urgh - fuck," he mutters to himself, pulls his pants down, angles the mirror so he can see his (badly bleeding) arse, slowly picks out the broken shards of glass and starts sticking on the Band-Aids. The next morning Brian is rudely awoken by a bucket of cold water thrown over him by his (obviously irate) wife. "You went out on the piss last night, didn't you, after you promised not to, you fucking little shit.' 'Wha-what makes you think that?' 'Oh, I don't know, maybe it's the fact that the front door was left open, or the broken bottle of Jack Daniels in the hallway, or perhaps the trail of blood on the stairs...,' she growls sardonically. '...but it's mainly the fact that the bathroom mirror is covered in fucking Band-Aids.' |    |
Joke by TGS, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged alcohol , wife , bloody , arse , bandaids - Current Score: 64 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| A married couple are about to have sex and the woman says to her husband- "I've aways been curious, but do you fancy doing it to me up the wrong 'un tonight dear?" Her husband replies "What! And fill the house with kids...no bloody way" | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Pregnancy - Tagged bloody - Current Score: 39 - Added: 8 months ago
| These fucking pants! For fucks sake these cunting socks! Agh! sodding, shitting trousers! Oh this bloody slag of a fucking shirt! I've always been a cross dresser. | |
Joke by justincider, in Sex and shit > Transvestite - Tagged fucking , pants , cunting , socks , shoes , sodding , bloody , trousers , shirt , cross , dresser - Current Score: 12 - Added: 2 months ago
Big Billingals got buried to -7. Reveal Joke
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