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| Two sperms are having a race. One sperm says, "Fuck me all this swimming is knackering me, how long till we reach the womb?" The second sperm says, "Fucking long way to go yet mate - we've only just gone past her tonsils!" |    |
Joke by pornstar, in Sex and shit > Sperm - Tagged blowjob - Current Score: 838 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| Some girls beg & some girls borrow, Some girls lead & some girls follow, Some bring joy & some bring sorrow, But all the best girls suck then swallow. | |
Joke by rampant, in Sex and shit > Women - Tagged girls , blowjob - Current Score: 233 - Added: 1 month ago
| The next time your wife or girlfriend refuses to give you a blowjob, just remind her that it's a lot easier for them to drink a spoonfull of milk than it is for you to lick a dead fish!! | |
Joke by pornstar, in Sex and shit > Blow Job - Tagged blowjob - Current Score: 200 - Added: 6 months ago
| My Grandad says his sex life is great. He says, since his girlfriend has been loosing her teeth, the blow-jobs have been fantastic... ... May be a different story when her adult teeth start coming through though. | |
Joke by shittychickengangbang, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged elderly , sex , head , blowjob , teeth , nursing home - Current Score: 193 - Added: 3 months, 28 days ago
| How do you circumcise a Scouser? Kick his sister in the jaw. | |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > Scousers - Tagged blowjob - Current Score: 180 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? Gagged. | |
Joke by 619no1, in Sex and shit > Blow Job - Tagged blowjob - Current Score: 179 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| Teacher draws a penis on the board, then asks "Does any one know what this is?" Little johnny says, "My dad has two of them, a small one for weeing and a big one for cleaning the babysitter's teeth". | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Advice - Tagged blowjob - Current Score: 172 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| A woman comes home to find her husband blow drying his dick, She says 'What the hell are you doing?' he answers 'Heating up your dinner' | |
Joke by therealpud, in Sex and shit > Penis - Tagged blowjob - Current Score: 165 - Added: 4 months ago
| A new priest has just started working at the local catholic church when the head priest, Father David, announces that he is going on holiday for a week. Father David asks the new priest if he wouldn't mind doing the confessions whilst he's away. Concerned that he is inexperienced, Father David gives him the latest handbook on what to do in the confession box. The new priest has been doing the job for five minutes when a young woman enters the box and says, "forgive me father, for I have sinned - I have had feelings of a carnal nature toward the man who cuts our lawn." The priest looks to his handbook, finds the section on sexual desire and gardeners, and relays the appropriate penance to the woman. "You must do five hail marys, and polish the church door brass." Later, a second woman confesses she has kissed the guy who came to fix the boiler. He looks in the handbook, finds the section on intimate liaisons with members of the plumbing trade and hands down a penance of ten hail marys, fifty counts of the rosaries, and an afternoon trimming the church candles. Much later a woman comes to the box and confesses that she has given the local policeman a blow-job. After a few minutes, the priest cannot find any mention of sucking a mans cock in the handbook and wonders what to do. He sticks his head out of the box just as a choir boy is passing, and asks the lad, "psst.. do you know what Father David usually gives for a blow-job?" Quick as a flash, the young lad replies, "a bag of Skittles and a Kit-Kat." | |
Joke by spazzy, in Religion and racism > Catholicism - Tagged blowjob - Current Score: 153 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| The BBC has received over 100 complaints about an episode of Eastenders which involved a 15 year old kissing her paedophile stepfather. Thankfully my young daughter didn't see that controversial episode, she was too busy giving me head. | |
Joke by Mightyboosh, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged paedophile , stepdad , daughter , blowjob , eastenders - Current Score: 148 - Added: 2 months ago
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