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| A man staying at a hotel removed a card offering sexual services from a nearby phone box. Back in his hotel room he rang the number and a woman with a silky soft voice asked if she could be of assistance. "Yes" he said. "I'd like a doggie in bondage gear, leather, PVC, whips, the lot. And then some hardcore spanking, rounded off with a blow job. What do you think?" The woman said, "That sounds really good and I'd like to oblige, but if you press 9 first you'll get an outside line." |    |
Joke by superhorse, in Sex and shit > Prostitution - Tagged hooker , prostitute , bondage , spanking , hotel - Current Score: 268 - Added: 1 year ago
| One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "And you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went golfing. | |
Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > bondage - Tagged bondage , golf - Current Score: 70 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| A Scottish mate of mine is into "Heavy S and M." He enjoys nothing better than being beaten up by a vicious woman whilst naked and vulnerable. Anyway, he was telling me that he goes to brothels for this several times a week. "Fuck me," I said, "that must cost you a fortune!" "Nah," he replied, "I just book a normal service, fuck her, then tell her I haven't got any money." | |
Joke by lionarse, in Sex and shit > Brothel - Tagged sex , bondage , s and m , brothel , scottish , money , prostitue , whipping , beating , mean - Current Score: 48 - Added: 4 months ago
| My wife just said she fancies moving. Suppose it means I'll have to untie her. | |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged wife , bondage - Current Score: 38 - Added: 7 months, 22 days ago
| I went to see a bondage mistress, with a fully stocked "leather dungeon," who had a big black man chained to the wall as her "sub." She said she would flog him for 100 Quid. I accepted. What a bargain- I'll get a good 40 years work out of him. | |
Joke by erniehill, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged black , slave , bondage , nigger , money , dominatrix , whip , flog , sell , pub - Current Score: 24 - Added: 4 months ago
| Mary had a little lamb She tied it to a pylon ten thousand volts went up its arse And turned its wool to nylon | |
Joke by CockThrobber, in Jokes with no home > Nursery Rhymes - Tagged poem , sheep , bondage - Current Score: 18 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Did you hear about the prostitute that was into bondage? She was strapped for cash... | |
Joke by 619no1, in Sex and shit > Prostitution - Tagged sex , prostitute , bondage , s&m - Current Score: 14 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| My mate said to me today, "you should spice up your sex life with a bit of bondage" How the fuck can I wank when I'm tied up? | |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Sex and shit > Bondage - Tagged sex , bondage , wank , masturbation - Current Score: 10 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| Max Mosley has defended the controversial/suicidal plan of his to force all Formula 1 teams to use the exact same engine from 2010. He says that the move is necessary to reduce costs and in his own words, "save the sport". What he really means to say is: "I hope that by systematically destroying F1 racing from the ground up till it's all gone, I will go down in history for that, rather than my Nazi bondage orgy." | |
Joke by Angryinfidel, in Celebrity and news events > Max Mosley - Tagged max mosley , nazi , bondage , formula 1 , somebody needs to take this stupid cunt out - Current Score: 9 - Added: 1 month, 7 days ago
| I went to a bondage party once. It wasn't very good but I was there three weeks. | |
Joke by Aspen, in Sex and shit > Bondage - Tagged sex , bondage - Current Score: -1 - Added: 2 months ago
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