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| The other day I walked into my local chemists, and asked the manager if they sold Vaseline. "No, I'm afraid we're out of stock at the moment, have you tried boots?" I looked at him and said "Don't be daft, I wanna slide in, not fucking march in!" |    |
Joke by FengShuiNinja, in Sex and shit > Vaseline - Tagged chemist , boots , vaseline , fsn - Current Score: 105 - Added: 11 months ago
| A woman in Boots sees a deal offering 5 boxes of Tampax for a pound. She can't believe how good the deal is and asks the manager, "Is that price correct?" "Sure is," says the manager, "It's a special offer, 5 boxes for a pound and there are no strings attached!" | |
Joke by vasocam, in Jokes with no home > Advice - Tagged chemist , tampax , boots - Current Score: 47 - Added: 10 months ago
| An Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex girl notices something strange about the boots the Irish guy is wearing. She says, "Scuse me mate, I aint being fanny or nuffink, but why doz one of your boots 'ave an L on it and the uva one's got an R on it" So the Irish guy smiles, puts down his glass of Guinness and replies, "Well oim a little bit tick you see. The one with the R on it is for me roight foot and the one with the L is for me left foot" "Cor blimey, exclaims the Essex girl, "So THAT'S why me knickers 'ave got C&A on them | |
Joke by mickle, in Religion and racism > Essex - Tagged irish , bar , knickers , boots - Current Score: 43 - Added: 11 months ago
| John Terry was unfortunate to miss out on an Adidas Football Boots sponsorship deal following defeat in the final. However, its not all bad news. He has been offered a very nice deal by a company who make slippers. | |
Joke by bizlop, in Celebrity and news events > Champions League Final - Tagged john terry , football , slipper , adidas , boots , slippers - Current Score: 22 - Added: 3 months ago
| Whats long, silver, sits at the bottom of the bed and scares children? Gary Glitter's boots. | |
Joke by sickfuck, in Celebrity and news events > Gary Glitter - Tagged gary glitter , paedo , boots - Current Score: 16 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| I went into Boots last week and said to the woman behind the counter,"packet of three, please, Miss." "Don't you Miss me, young man," she replied. I said, "okay, better make that four then!" | |
Joke by MICK THE MAG, in Sex and shit > 69 - Tagged wome , blobs , boots - Current Score: 13 - Added: 2 months ago
| The sheriff of a small town walked out into the street and saw a blond cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and boots. The sheriff arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up, he asks, "Why in the world are you dressed like this?" The cowboy says, "Well it's like this Sheriff... I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little redhead asked me to go out to her motor home with her... and I did. We went inside and she pulled off her top and asked me to pull off my shirt. so I did... Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants so I did... "Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts, so I did... Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of funny and says, 'Now go to town cowboy...' "So here I am." | |
Joke by McLOVIN, in Religion and racism > Blondes - Tagged sheriff , cowboy , boots - Current Score: 8 - Added: 1 year ago
| What's three feet tall and stands at the end of kids' beds? Gary Glitter's boots. | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged gary glitter , paedophilia , bed , kids , boots - Current Score: 7 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| My sister bought one of those Paul McKenna "Stop Smoking" tapes and never smoked again! She came out of Boots and got hit by a lorry. | |
Joke by Aspen, in Illness and mortality > Smoking - Tagged smoking , paul mckenna , boots - Current Score: 7 - Added: 1 week ago
| What's 8 inches long and the worst possible thing you could find at the bottom of your daughter's bed? Gary Glitter's boots. | |
Joke by teale30, in Celebrity and news events > Gary Glitter - Tagged paedo , celebrity , kid , boots - Current Score: -4 - Added: 4 days ago
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