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| When I was a kid, we all played spin the bottle. A girl would spin the bottle and if it pointed to you when it stopped, the girl could either kiss you or give you a penny. By the time I was 16 I owned my own house. |    |
Joke by mickle, in Sex and shit > Kids - Tagged spin , bottle , kiss , house - Current Score: 127 - Added: 3 months, 7 days ago
| "Flat tyre?" "Yeah." "What happened?" "Ran over a milk bottle." "Didn't see it?" "Damn kid had it under his coat." | |
Joke by ratboy, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged milk , child , cruelty , bottle , car , driver , driving - Current Score: 119 - Added: 3 months, 17 days ago
| A man is being shown around a latex factory. First of all he is shown the machine that makes baby bottle tits. The machine makes the sound: hiss, pop, hiss, pop. Now, the hissing noise is the latex being poured into the moulds, and the popping noise is the hole being put into the end of the tit. Next he is shown the machine that makes condoms. The machine makes the noise: hiss, hiss, hiss, pop, so the man says, "hang on a minute, I know that the hissing sound is latex being poured into the mould, but I can hear a popping noise." The manager of the factory says, "yes, sir, after every four condoms, we put a hole in one." "Fucking hell," the bloke says "that can't be very good for the condom industry!" "No," said the manager, "but it's fucking brilliant for the baby bottle tit business." | |
Joke by pornstar, in Sex and shit > Condom - Tagged baby , bottle , tit , condom , pop , hiss - Current Score: 115 - Added: 3 months, 23 days ago
| Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife died. | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Random - Tagged dr. pepper , wife , masturbation , bottle , come - Current Score: 54 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| A gentleman asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an attractive woman. The waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, "this is from the gentleman seated over there," indicating the sender. She regarded the wine coolly for a second, not looking at the man, and decided to send a reply note to the man. The waiter, who was lingering for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman. The note read: "For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a Mercedes in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and 7 inches in your pants." After reading the note, the man decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to return this to the woman. It read: "For your information, I have a Ferrari Maranello, a BMW Z8, a Mercedes CL600, and a Porsche Turbo in my garages, beautiful homes in California, Aspen, Colorado and Miami. There are over twenty million dollars in my checking account.. BUT not even for a woman as beautiful as you would I cut three inches off. Send the bottle back!" | |
Joke by ht, in Jokes with no home > wine - Tagged advice , bottle , ferrari , millionaire , wine , cock , difficult women - Current Score: 42 - Added: 11 months ago
| I remember the first time I used alcohol as a substitute for a woman, I got my knob stuck in the neck of the bottle. | |
Joke by BruceWillis, in Sex and shit > Penis - Tagged knob , bottle , substitute , woman , alcohol - Current Score: 36 - Added: 4 months, 10 days ago
| Paddy was asked why he kept an empty milk bottle in his fridge and he said "dat's in case somebody want's derr coffee black!" | |
Joke by pottyonetoo, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged milk , bottle , coffee - Current Score: 5 - Added: 1 month, 22 days ago
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