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| I've just popped round to meet the new next door neighbours, and I think they're Jewish. Well, they've got a fucking fork in the sugar bowl, teabags on the washing line, and double glazed windows so that the kids can't hear the ice-cream vans. |    |
Joke by pornstar, in Religion and racism > Africans - Tagged jewish , teabag , washing line , ice , cream , van , kids , fork , sugar , bowl - Current Score: 80 - Added: 4 months, 9 days ago
| "Mummy, can I lick the bowl?" "No, you can flush like everyone else" | |
Joke by sick puppy, in Jokes with no home > Mummy, Mummy - Tagged mummy , bowl , flush , lick - Current Score: 31 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| A man walks into a bar - he sits down and orders a drink. The bar man gives him his drink, accompanied by a bowl of peanuts. To his surprise, a voice comes from the peanut bowl. "You look great tonight!" it said, "You really look fantastic... and that aftershave is just wonderful!" The man is obviously a little confused, but tries to ignore it. Realizing he has no cigarettes, he wanders over to the cigarette machine. After inserting his money, another voice emits from the machine. "You WANKER... Oh my god you STINK... Do you know, you're almost as ugly as your mother!". By now, the man is extremely perplexed. He turns to the barman for an explanation. "Ah yes sir," the barman responds, "The peanuts are complimentary, but the cigarette machine is out of order." | |
Joke by McLOVIN, in Jokes with no home > Drinking Jokes - Tagged pub , man , money , ugly , bowl , machine , bar , mother , peanuts - Current Score: 26 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| A husband and wife came for counselling after 20 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: - neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, and an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage. Finally, after allowing this to go on for about an hour, the male therapist got up, walked around the desk, asked the wife to stand, then embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, 'This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this ?' The husband thought for a moment and replied, 'Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I bowl .' | |
Joke by poosmellsyucky, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged husband , wife , counselling , bowl - Current Score: 14 - Added: 6 months, 30 days ago
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