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| When was the last time a boxer became champion and then shat in the ring? Crufts 1964. |    |
Joke by pornstar, in Jokes with no home > Dog - Tagged boxer , dog , shit , ring - Current Score: 82 - Added: 5 months, 26 days ago
| I enjoyed the boxing tonight- all of Amir Khan's large family were there- which meant that it was a perfect chance for me and my mates to break into their shop. | |
Joke by erniehill, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged amir khan , boxer , boxing , paki , pakis , bolton - Current Score: 47 - Added: 5 months, 12 days ago
| One day a boxer and his stunning girlfriend walk into a bar. The boxer heads off to the toilet, handing a 20 pound note to his missus and asks her to get him a pint, and whatever she wants. Whilst she's at the bar, a scrawny little man approaches her, and the conversation goes something along the lines of: Scrawny little man: You're absolutely stunning, I'd really like to take you out for dinner. Stunning girlfriend: Sorry, I'm already taken. Scrawny little man: Hang on a sec, I've not finished - after dinner, I'd like to take you home, cover you in chocolate sauce and lick it off. Stunning girlfriend: Seriously, I've got a boyfriend, and I'm not interested. Scrawny little man: Wait wait, I've not finished - then I want to fill your pussy up with beer and drink it with a straw. At this point the boxer returns from the toilet... Stunning girlfriend: This scrawny little twat wants to take me out for dinner. Boxer: Sorry mate, she's spoken for (looking a little annoyed, that his missus is being cracked onto). Stunning girlfriend: Wait, then he wants cover me in chocolate sauce and lick it off. Boxer: Right, that does it, you're in for a pasting (as he rolls up his sleeves and the little vein in his temple starts to pulse). Stunning girlfriend: Wait, I'm not finished yet, then he wants to fill my pussy with beer and drink it with a straw. At this point the boxer unrolls his sleeves and turns to walk away. Stunning girlfriend: What are you doing, I thought you were going to kill this pathetic little runt. Boxer: Look love, I'm not messing with anyone who can drink that much beer. | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Drinking Jokes - Tagged beer , pussy , fight , drink , boxer , bar , girlfriend - Current Score: 46 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| This guy owns a bar. Every Saturday night, these punks who drink there always end up damaging the place or causing the other customers grief which, in turn, is affecting business. One day, the owner is looking through the local paper and sees an advert for a Gorilla which is for sale, so he buys him and trains him so that, when the owner clicks his fingers, the gorilla takes any troublemakers outside and beats them up a bit. For six months there were no major incidents, because as soon as their was any sign of trouble, the gorilla dealt with it. Then, one day, this big Irish boxer enters the bar. It's obvious he has just lost a fight and he ain't in a good mood. After a few pints of beer and a few shots of whisky he starts to become very aggresive towards the barman so the owner clicks his fingers and the gorilla takes the boxer outside. There is this huge fight outside which lasts for about fifteen minutes, when suddenly the boxer stumbles in and slumps at the bar. His ear is hanging off, his nose is pissing blood and his eye is closed. The owner asks, "are you okay, mate?" "Aye," replies the boxer, "give a black man a fur coat and he thinks he fucking owns the place." | |
Joke by Pure_sickness, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged black , gorilla , bar , fight , boxer , racist , racism - Current Score: 28 - Added: 4 months, 6 days ago
| I staggered in pissed out of my head last night. My wife stormed up to me and punched me in the face. I said "You should be a boxer" She said "Why, am I a hard puncher?" I said "No, your nose is flat and you're ugly". | |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged wife , boxer , pissed - Current Score: 24 - Added: 6 months, 16 days ago
| Depressed, a boxer walks into a doctors surgery. "Doc, you've got to help me" he moans. "My insomnia is terribble, I just can't get to sleep at night" The doctor peers over his glasses. "Have you tried counting sheep?" he asks. The boxer sighs. "Thats no good at all" he moans. "Everytime I reach nine I get up!" | |
Joke by cannonfodder, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged boxer , insomnia - Current Score: 6 - Added: 6 months, 25 days ago
| "Pardon sought for first black heavyweight boxing champion, Jack Johnson"... Doesn't matter what they do, he'll still be black. | |
Joke by whogivesashit, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged black , pardon , boxer - Current Score: -1 - Added: 2 months, 7 days ago
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