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| Paddy was sitting on a bus when a young blonde started breast feeding her baby. "Come on, eat it all up or I'm going to give it to that man over there," she said. Ten minutes later she again tried to feed the baby. "Come on.....or mummy is going to give it to that man over there," she said. Paddy just carried on reading his newspaper. Another ten minutes goes by and the blonde picks the baby up again. "Oh for fuck's sake," says Paddy, "make your fucking mind up - I was supposed to have got off three stops ago." |    |
Joke by garrygwizz, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged paddy , breast , feed , blond , bus - Current Score: 133 - Added: 2 days ago
| A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and, as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436." | |
Joke by Ekim, in Sex and shit > General - Tagged hard , sex , breast , hotel - Current Score: 115 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| I took this girl out for a meal last night, she had frog's legs and chicken breasts... but she had a fucking lovely personality, bless her!! | |
Joke by pornstar, in Sex and shit > Bird - Tagged girl , chicken , breast , frogs legs - Current Score: 71 - Added: 5 months, 24 days ago
| A woman was breast feeding her baby, when she noticed the window cleaner watching her. Indignantly, she said, "what do you think you're staring at?" He replied, apologetically, "when I was a baby, I was bottle fed so I was just fascinated." The woman says, "well, baby's had enough but there's some left if you want to find out what it's like." The window cleaner climbed in through the window and started to feed. After a short time, the woman realised that she was becoming aroused and she asked, "would you like a little bit of some thing else?" He replied, "have you got a rusk?" | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Breast Feeding - Tagged sam , breast , milk , rusk - Current Score: 30 - Added: 10 months, 6 days ago
| My girlfriend's got an oversize left breast, and because of the trouble it causes, she's been put on incapacity benefit. Which is all well and good, but she is milking it. | |
Joke by Storyteller, in Sex and shit > Breasts - Tagged breast , milk , incapacity , benefits , fraud - Current Score: 27 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| I was on the tube this morning sat next to a woman with a baby. She said, "Do you mind if I breast feed?" I said, "No, but don't suck my nipple too hard". | |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Sex and shit > Breast Feeding - Tagged breast feeding , tube , baby , nipple , suck , breast , feed - Current Score: 26 - Added: 3 months, 22 days ago
| Scientists have discovered that the average tit weighs 1.5kg, but they cannot work out the average weight of a cunt. So if you could pop on the scales and ring me back. | |
Joke by Rexton, in Sex and shit > General - Tagged insult , tit , boob , breast , tits , boobs , breats , weight , average , cunt , weigh , call , ring , scientist , scientists - Current Score: 17 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| Two elderly gentlemen, who had been without sex for several years, decided they needed to visit a whore house. When they arrived at the house, the Madam took one look at them and decided she wasn't going to waste any of her girls on these two old men. So she used "blow-up" dolls instead. She put a doll in each man's room and left them to their business. After the two men were finished, they started for home and got to talking. The first man said, "I think the girl I had was dead. She never moved, talked or groaned. How was it for you?" The second man replied, "I think mine was a witch." The first man asked, "How's that?" "Well," said the second man, "when I nibbled on her breast, she farted and flew out the window!" | |
Joke by the phantom phucker, in Sex and shit > Blow Up Doll - Tagged elderly , whorehouse , madam , blow-up doll , dead , witch , breast , fart - Current Score: 14 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| What's brown and lumpy? Trisha Goddards tit. | |
Joke by Razza, in Sex and shit > Shit - Tagged trisha goddard , cancer , breast , tits , blacks , dead , poo , shit - Current Score: 14 - Added: 3 months, 23 days ago
| Rebecca Adlington is fantastic at the Breaststroke. I've spent the last hour wondering how good she is at the Cock Stroke | |
Joke by baldlice, in Celebrity and news events > Olympics - Tagged olympics , breast , swimming - Current Score: 10 - Added: 3 months, 19 days ago
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