Sorted by: Highest Scoring | Lowest Scoring | Newest | Oldest
Showing all jokes.
| Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple. The child thought for a moment, and then said, "So why's the groom wearing black?" |    |
Joke by buzz-lightyear, in Sex and shit > Marriage - Tagged marriage , wedding , groom , bride - Current Score: 172 - Added: 2 months ago
| 3 friends were getting married in the same hotel on the same day, and at the end of the night, they met up to discuss the day's events over a couple of beers. One asks the other two: "Listen, it's our wedding night and I was wondering -- how many times are we expected to... um... you know... do it?" Eventually, they decide to retire to their respective wives and plan to meet up the following morning over breakfast to discuss what went on. Suddenly, one of the grooms pipes up, "Hold on lads, we can't discuss our first night's marital goings on over the breakfast table with our new wives sitting with us." "You're right. What we'll do then, is make every piece of toast we order with our breakfast represent the amount of times we did it," offers another groom. They all decide that it's an excellent idea and depart. The next day in the hotel dining room, the grooms are all looking a bit dishevelled, but that's nothing compared to the brides, who can barely stagger across the room. The first groom places his order with the waitress: "Hello, I'll have the full English breakfast with three pieces of toast please." The other two grooms smile at him and raise a glass of fresh orange juice in a toast to his fantastic prowess. The waitress moves to the second couple and the groom orders, "I too shall have the full English breakfast, but could I have four pieces of toast?" The waitress gets to the last groom. "I shall also have the full English breakfast please, yet I shall have..." he takes a deep breath, "seven, yes, seven pieces of toast," he calls for everyone's benefit, while flashing a big grin to his two wedding mates, who stare at him in disbelief. She writes down his order and turns away, but before she can leave, the groom calls after her again and says, "And by the way, can you make two of those brown?" | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged wedding , groom , sex , anal , bride - Current Score: 37 - Added: 1 year ago
| What do you call a Chav in a white shell suit? The Bride. | |
Joke by orangesweets, in Religion and racism > Jehovahs Witness - Tagged chav , bride - Current Score: 33 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?" The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day, when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a rabbit sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the rabbit fell dead. What do you think of that?" The 90-year-old said, "I'd say someone else shot a couple rounds into the rabbit." The doctor replied, "my point exactly." | |
Joke by Dursley, in Illness and mortality > Doctor - Tagged birth , 18 year old , bride - Current Score: 17 - Added: 1 month ago
| The Worried Bride A young bride is sitting on her bed, worried to death. "What's the matter?", asks her mother. "It's the Honeymoon, Mom. Tom thinks I'm a virgin. You and I both know I've been with so many men." "Yes Dear", Said her Mom. "To tell the truth, I had the same problem when I married your father." "What ever did you do?" "Well, before I joined you Father in bed, I asked for some private time in the bathroom." "The bathroom? Why the bathroom?" "I took the raw piece of liver, that your Grandmother gave me and put it in my vagina. It made me as tight as a virgin for my wedding night and afterwards it didn't matter." The young woman took her Mother's advice and there followed a glorious wedding night. The next morning the Bride found herself alone in bed and a note was pinned to her Groom's pillow. It read: My Darling, Last night was the best sex I have ever had. You are everything a man could wan't in a wife. I Love you with all my heart and always will. But darling I can't live with the thought that I have disfigured you for life. Forgive me darling, but Good-Bye Forever. All My Love, Tom P.S.: I left your pussy in the sink. | |
Joke by maddog2840, in Sex and shit > Brides - Tagged bride , sick - Current Score: 13 - Added: 1 year ago
| Why do brides smile so much? Because they know they don't have to give any more blow jobs. | |
Joke by Retard, in Sex and shit > Marriage - Tagged marriage , blow job , smile , bride - Current Score: 7 - Added: 2 months ago
| If all Brides are beautiful, where the fuck do ugly wives come from? | |
Joke by shabby, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged wife , bride , ugly - Current Score: 4 - Added: 4 months, 24 days ago
| A young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the bride for the first song. Well, this happened...but then they danced for the second song too. And the third. By the time the fourth song came on, the groom ran up and kicked the bride between the legs. A riot broke out, and all the invited guests were hauled off to jail.In court the next week, the judge asked the best man what happened.''Your honor, we were just dancing, and the groom ran up and kicked the bride between the legs.''''That must have hurt,'' said the judge.''No kidding,'' said the best man. ''I broke three of my fingers.'' | |
Joke by Zig, in Sex and shit > Adultery - Tagged best man , grom , bride , kick , fingering , broken - Current Score: 2 - Added: 4 months ago
| So the bride and groom get to the bridal suite, and she strips naked in front of him. "Darling," she says, "Will you love me always?" He says, "Sounds good to me! I'll try your arse first!" | |
Joke by the peter tobin fan club, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged bride , anal , directed by pierre woodman , the peter tobin fan club - Current Score: 1 - Added: 4 months ago
| What do you call a Scouser in a white shell suit? The bride. | |
Joke by Kersal Missive, in Religion and racism > Scousers - Tagged scouser , bride - Current Score: 0 - Added: 1 year ago
Showing all jokes.
Server: 0.24s/12q/56.
Copyright 2005-2008 Rob Manuel - a cr3ative media® project