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| My girlfriend came downstairs in this very sluttish dress the other night and I said, "you look like you're about to go to a fucking brothel." She said, "well, what if I am?" I replied, "you can give me a lift." |    |
Joke by max the storyteller, in Sex and shit > Brothel - Tagged brothel , cheating , prostitutes , girlfriend - Current Score: 138 - Added: 3 months, 12 days ago
| I nervously stepped through the door of the local brothel today. First time I've seen the outside world in weeks! | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Brothel - Tagged brothel - Current Score: 129 - Added: 8 months, 8 days ago
| A man is sitting at home feeling horny as hell. He digs around the house for loose change and comes up with $10, and heads for the local brothel. He approaches the madam and says, "I only have $10 but I am so horny! Please, please I just want to fuck something!" The madam says, "OK, If you're that desperate I'll let you fuck a goat." The madam instructs him to go to the first door on the right. Once there, he sees a goat tied to the corner and a large mirror on the wall. He proceeds to go behind the animal and fucks away like crazy. He finishes and leaves. A couple of days later, he feels horny again, digs around and finds $5. He goes back to the brothel and tells the madam he only has $5 but he's really horny and wants to fuck the goat again. She tells him he fucked the goat so hard he killed it. Instead, she could let him watch two women mud wrestle for $5. The guy agrees and she instructs him to go to the second door on the right. He walks into a dark room and sees a few guys sitting in front of a large window watching two women mud wrestle. He sits down and says to one of the other guys, "This is great." The other guy says, "Yeah, but you should have been here a couple of days ago when they had some guy fucking a goat!" | |
Joke by Cleveland, in Sex and shit > Brothel - Tagged brothel , beastiality , embarass , sex - Current Score: 101 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| A trucker who has been out on the road for two weeks stops at a brothel outside Atlanta. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!" The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal." The trucker replies, "Listen Darlin, I ain't horny. I'm homesick." | |
Joke by Desired Username, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged brothel , madam - Current Score: 75 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| A woman goes into a pet shop looking for a parrot. The assistant shows her a beautiful African Grey parrot. "What about this one, Madam? A beautiful bird, and it's an absolute steal at only twenty pounds." "Why is it so cheap?" the woman asks. "Well", replies the assistant, "it used to live in a brothel and as a result its language is a touch fruity". "Oh, I don't mind that", said the woman, making her mind up, "I'm broad minded and it'll be a laugh having a profane parrot". So saying, she buys the parrot and takes him home. Once safely in his new home, the parrot looks around and squawks at the woman, "fuck me, a new brothel and a new madam". "I'm not a madam and this is not a brothel," scolds the womantrying not to laugh. A little later the woman's two teenage daughters arrive home. "Un fucking-believable: a new brothel, a new madam, and now two new prostitutes," says the parrot when he sees the daughters. "Mum, tell your parrot to shut up, we're not prostitutes," complain the girls, but they all see the funny side and have a laugh at their new pet. A short while later, the woman's husband, Dave, comes home. "In-fucking-credible: a new brothel, a new madam, new prostitutes, but the same old clients.... How ya doin', Dave?" | |
Joke by DanMan, in Sex and shit > Brothel - Tagged brothel , parrot , girls , prostitutes - Current Score: 56 - Added: 3 months, 15 days ago
| A Scottish mate of mine is into "Heavy S and M." He enjoys nothing better than being beaten up by a vicious woman whilst naked and vulnerable. Anyway, he was telling me that he goes to brothels for this several times a week. "Fuck me," I said, "that must cost you a fortune!" "Nah," he replied, "I just book a normal service, fuck her, then tell her I haven't got any money." | |
Joke by lionarse, in Sex and shit > Brothel - Tagged sex , bondage , s and m , brothel , scottish , money , prostitue , whipping , beating , mean - Current Score: 48 - Added: 4 months ago
| This woman is walking past a brothel, when she notices a sign which reads Celebrity Sex Wayne Rooney £500 per night Andrew flintoff £700 per night Father Christmas £2000 per night so she goes in to enquire about the price list, the manager tells her that the reason wayne rooney is so cheap is because he 'dribbles before he shoots', and the reason that andrew flintoff is cheap is because 'once he's in , you can't get him out' , then she asks " why is father christmas so expensive?", and the manager says " well , he only comes once a year , but he'll fill yer fucking stockings" | |
Joke by pornstar, in Sex and shit > Brothel - Tagged brothel , rooney , flintoff , father christmas , stockings , cheap , expensive , price , dribbles , shoots - Current Score: 39 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| A guy goes to the doctor and says, "My best mate and I went to a brothel and he's afraid he may have caught some kind of disease, what should he do? The doctor says, "OK, get your trousers down and let's have a look at your best mate!" | |
Joke by geebee, in Illness and mortality > Syphilis - Tagged brothel , sexually transmitted diseases , doctor - Current Score: 31 - Added: 3 months, 25 days ago
| I thought I'd try the local brothel last night. Fifty quid for a blow job! I'm going down the pub tonight to spend my hundred quid. | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Brothel - Tagged brothel , blow job - Current Score: 25 - Added: 8 months ago
| I went down to the local Brothel after work. They had a sign on the door saying, "Beat it - we're shut." | |
Joke by bawbag, in Sex and shit > Brothel - Tagged brothel , beat - Current Score: 24 - Added: 3 weeks ago
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