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| When me and my brother were young and having a fight my mum used to say, "if all this fighting doesn't stop, someone's going to get hurt!" She was right - we teamed up and kicked the shit out of her. |    |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Jokes with no home > Mother - Tagged mother , mum , brothers , fighting - Current Score: 108 - Added: 4 months, 22 days ago
| Paddy's just moved into the city and visits his new local pub for the first time. He strides up to the bar and asks for three pints. The landlord hands over the drinks and watches the Irishman sit at a table and one by one drink them all. Nearly every day for a few months the landlord eventually asks Paddy why he doesn't just order a pint at a time, that way it'll still be cold. "Well," Says Paddy, "I've got two brothers and as we can't drink together we always order for three and drink it all on our own." The landlord agrees that this is a nice little tradition and gets to know Paddy over the coming months. One day Paddy comes in with a look of death on his face and orders just two pints. The landlord, feeling inadequate and sad for his friend, gives Paddy his condolences and asks which of his brothers had died. "What'cha talkin about?" Says Paddy, "I've just quit drinking." | |
Joke by Speshal, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged irish , paddy , brothers , pints - Current Score: 78 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Welcome to Sickipedia. Brought to you this weekend by our sponsors the Lehman Brothers. | |
Joke by S011, in Jokes with no home > Sickipedia - Tagged lehman , brothers , sickipedia - Current Score: 63 - Added: 2 months, 13 days ago
| Two Arab brothers emigrated to the U.S. and decided to have a contest as to who could be "the most American" in five years. The winner would get $1,000. Five years past, and the brothers met. One brother showed up in a cowboy hat and said, "I have just come from an American football game with my kids, Steve and Kelly. We had pork hot dogs and I drank a beer." The other brother says, "Whatever, raghead. Pay up." | |
Joke by yank, in Religion and racism > indian - Tagged arab , raghead , brothers , bet , contest - Current Score: 7 - Added: 1 year ago
| Twin Brothers Once there were twin brothers by the name of Jones. John Jones was married, and Joe Jones was single. The single brother Joe was the proud owner of a dilapidated row boat. It happened that John Jones wife died the same day that Joe's rowboat filled with water and sank. A few days later, a kindly old lady met Joe and mistaken him for John said; "Oh Mr. Jones, I am sorry to hear of your great loss, you must feel terrible". Joe smiled and said, "Well I am not a bit sorry, she was rather old from the start. Her bottom was all chewed up and she smelled of dead fish. Even the first time I got into her, she made water faster than anything I ever saw. She had a bad crack and a pretty big hole in her front, and that hole got bigger every time I used her. It got so I could barely handle her, but if anyone else used her she leaked like anything. The thing that finished her was four guys from the other side of town. They came down looking for a good time and asked if I could lend her to them. I warned them she wasnt so hot, but they could take a crack at her if they liked. Well, the result was the crazy fools tried to get inside her all at once and it was too much for her. She cracked right up the middle". Before he could finish the old lady fainted! | |
Joke by Fatt, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged brothers , twins - Current Score: -2 - Added: 4 months, 25 days ago
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