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| A young family moved into a house next door to an empty plot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house there. The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers. She hung around and eventually the construction crew, all of them rough diamond types, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing £5. The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the money she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account. When they got to the bank the clerk was equally impressed with the story and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own wage packet at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked all last week with a crew building a house." "My goodness gracious," said the clerk, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?" The little girl replied, "I will if those useless cunts at B & Q ever bring us the fucking plasterboard" |    |
Joke by niggers out, in Illness and mortality > Kids - Tagged builders , b&q , girl , little - Current Score: 156 - Added: 6 months, 17 days ago
| This is a quick story about the bond formed between a little girl and a group of building workers. It's allegedly true and makes you want to believe in the goodness of people and that there is hope for the human race. A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant building. One day Joe, Steve and a gang of building workers turned up to start building a house on the empty plot. The young family's 5 year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers. She hung around and eventually the builders, all with hearts of gold, more or less adopted the little girl as a sort of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had tea and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. They even gave her very own hard hat and gloves. At the end of the first week they presented her with a pay envelope containing two pounds in 10p coins. The little girl took her 'pay' home to her mother who suggested that they take the money she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account. When they got to the bank the cashier was tickled pink listening to the little girl telling her about her 'work' on the building site and the fact she had a 'pay packet'. "You must have worked very hard to earn all this", said the bank cashier. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked all last week with the men building a big house." "My goodness gracious," said the cashier, "Will you be working on the house again this week, as well?" The little girl thought for a moment and said... "I think so.... Provided those pricks at Jewson deliver the fucking bricks." Supplied by my friend Kai | |
Joke by Marylin, in Jokes with no home > Cute Kids Stories - Tagged cute , little girl , children , kids , builders , work , money , house - Current Score: 70 - Added: 1 year ago
| Little Johnny loved construction. He watched every show about building and blasting, and had his own little foreman outfit that he wore every day, hardhat and all. One day, a house was going up across the street, and he begged to go watch the men at work. His mum packed his lunch in a little tin pail and told him to be back by dark and not get in the way of the builders. He was back for supper, all smiles. His mum asked "What did you learn today dear?" Johnny proudly says "Well, first you gotta put up your goddamn door. Then the motherfucker don't fit. So, now you gotta take the cocksucker down, shave a cunt hair off each side, and put the fucker back up." Horrified, his mother sends him to his room. Later, Johnny's dad comes in."Son, I heard you said something that really upset your mum. If you tell me what it was, I won't be mad." So, Johnny starts in again. "Well, first you gotta put up your goddamn door. Then the motherfucker don't fit. So, now you gotta take the cocksucker down, shave a cunt hair off each side, and put the fucker back up." His dad says, "Son, go outside and get me a switch." Johnny looks his dad in the eye and says "Fuck you, that's the electrician's job!" | |
Joke by Vastarien, in Sex and shit > 2 Girls 1 Cup - Tagged little johnny , builders , swearing - Current Score: 9 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| I'm a builder by trade and love nothing more than knocking on some old dear's door and asking to look at her damp patch in her bedroom. | |
Joke by ben dover, in Jokes with no home > Builders - Tagged builders , damp patch , old dear , bedroom - Current Score: -2 - Added: 1 month, 30 days ago
| The coach that crashed through a wall was carrying Polish workers. That'll teach them to build the wall better next time. | |
Joke by buzzlightyear, in Religion and racism > Poles / Polish - Tagged polish , builders , alton towers - Current Score: -3 - Added: 3 months, 16 days ago
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