Sorted by: Highest Scoring | Lowest Scoring | Newest | Oldest
Page 1 of 6 - Next Page
| If a woman is uncomfortable watching you masturbate ...Do you think: (a) You need more time together, (b) She's a prude, or (c) She should sit somewhere else on the bus? |    |
Joke by nahgut, in Jokes with no home > Advice - Tagged masterbating , bus , woman - Current Score: 413 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Have you heard about the case of that fugitive who held hostage a busload of Japanese tourists? The police have 5,000 pictures of him. | |
Joke by gartnavel, in Religion and racism > Japanese - Tagged japanese , bus , fugitive , photo , hostage - Current Score: 176 - Added: 6 months, 22 days ago
| I was waiting for a bus and next to me was a woman, with her son, who was in a wheelchair. I asked the woman, "How old is your son?" The woman replied, "He's ten years old." So then I said, "Shouldn't he be walking by now?" | |
Joke by mickle, in Illness and mortality > Disability - Tagged bus , wheelchair , ricky gervais - Current Score: 170 - Added: 4 months, 10 days ago
| Manchester United have cancelled their open-top tour bus. A spokesman said that, after paying so much getting to Moscow, you can't expect fans to travel all the way to Manchester too. | |
Joke by jmtRyan, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged united , moscow , bus , football - Current Score: 165 - Added: 6 months, 11 days ago
| My Uncle was jailed for his beliefs.. He believed you could wank on the bus. | |
Joke by red_rag, in Sex and shit > Wanking - Tagged wank , bus - Current Score: 163 - Added: 8 months, 19 days ago
| An old woman stopped me in the street and asked me to show her how to get to the hospital. So I pushed her under a bus. | |
Joke by appy2be, in Illness and mortality > Old people - Tagged old woman , hospital , bus - Current Score: 161 - Added: 8 months, 5 days ago
| Paddy was sitting on a bus when a young blonde started breast feeding her baby. "Come on, eat it all up or I'm going to give it to that man over there," she said. Ten minutes later she again tried to feed the baby. "Come on.....or mummy is going to give it to that man over there," she said. Paddy just carried on reading his newspaper. Another ten minutes goes by and the blonde picks the baby up again. "Oh for fuck's sake," says Paddy, "make your fucking mind up - I was supposed to have got off three stops ago." | |
Joke by garrygwizz, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged paddy , breast , feed , blond , bus - Current Score: 133 - Added: 2 days ago
| I took the wife for a night on the town. She told me she wanted to get smashed. So I pushed her in front of a bus. | |
Joke by justincider, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged night , town , bus , pushed - Current Score: 126 - Added: 2 months, 7 days ago
| How do you kill a bunch of retards on a bus? Put poison on the windows. | |
Joke by caliban, in Illness and mortality > Disability - Tagged retard , disabled , disability , retards , retarded , bus , poison , window , windows , kill , killed , murder , spastic , spaz - Current Score: 125 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| A bloke working on the buses taking fares pushes one of his passengers off the bus and kills him. At the trial he is found guilty of murder and is sentenced to the electric chair. As a last meal he asks for a bunch of green bananas, which he duly eats. They sit him down, plug him in a send a million volts through him. When the smoke clears he is sitting there, right as rain. Checking through the statutes the governor finds he has no choice but to release him. The chap goes back to his job on the buses and lo and behold allows another passenger to fall to his death. Once again he is found guilty and sentenced to death. At the prison he, again, asks for a bunch of green bananas, which he duly recieves and scoffs down. In the chair again and this time he is zapped with 2 million volts. Smoke clears and bugger me there he sits, right as rain. As before he goes back to his old job. Through a combination of stupidity and sheer malice he, yet again, allows another passenger to fall to their death (under a train at that, it was quite nasty really!) The judge has no choice but to find him guilty and off he goes to the chair. As you may have guessed he asks for his bunch of green bananas (getting predictable now) Eats them, gets strapped in, 3 million volts and yep, he's right as rain. The executioner, who is really pissed off by now, approaches him and asks what the secret is, is it (as he suspects) the green bananas that save his life. "No" replies the prisoner "I'm just a bad conductor!" | |
Joke by Chuckie F, in Illness and mortality > Death - Tagged conductor , bus , banannas , electric , chair - Current Score: 114 - Added: 7 months, 18 days ago
Page 1 of 6 - Next Page
Custurd spent 0.03ms doing 12 queries and 0.09s processing. She's 1.32% angry.
Sickipedia v2.7 - a cr3ative media® project. © '05-09 Rob Manuel