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A married man keeps telling his wife "Honey, you have such a beautiful butt". Every person in the town agrees that she does have a very beautiful butt. The man's birthday is coming up so she decides to take a trip to the tattoo parlor and get the words "Beautiful butt" tattooed on her ass.
She walks in and tells the tattoo artist he husband thinks she has a beautiful butt. He looks and says, "You do have a beautiful butt". She then tells the man she wants Beautiful butt tattooed on her ass. The man tells her "I can't fit that on your ass, it takes up too much space. But I tell you what, I will tattoo the letters BB on each cheek and that can stand for beautiful butt. She agrees and gets it done.
On the man's birthday she hears him come home and is only wearing a robe. She then stands at the top of the stairs. He opens the door and she says "look honey." She then takes off the robe she is wearing, bends over, and the man yells "WHO THE FUCK IS BOB?"! |  |
A motorcycle cop comes across two bikers. One biker has two fingers up the ass of the other.
" What the hell are you doing?" asks the cop
" My buddy here's got some food stuck and is choking," says the one biker, "I'm trying to make him sick."
"You're meant to stick your fingers down his throat, not up his ass," replies the cop.
The first biker says, "Yeah, I know, but you get better results if you stick them up his ass first..." |  |
Stanislaw asked Pawel how he got his black eye.
"You'd never believe it," said Pawel, "but I got it in church."
He said he had been sitting behind a fat lady and when they stood for a hymn, he noticed her dress was creased into the cheeks of her bottom.
"All I did was lean forward and pull it out and she turned around and hit me." Said Pawel.
A week later Stanislaw was surprised to see Pawel had another black eye.
"I got this one in church, too," explained Pawel.
He said he found himself behind the same fat woman and when they stood for a hymn her dressed was once again creased into the cheeks of her bottom.
"My little nephew reached forward and pulled it out. But I knew she didn't like that, so I leaned over and tucked it back." |  |
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