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| Japanese scientists have invented a camera with a shutter that operates so fast, it was recently able to take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut |    |
Joke by mickle, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged japanese , camera , shutter , fast , mouth , shut - Current Score: 184 - Added: 10 months ago
| A man and his young son go into the doctors, " Doctor, doctor- my son has just swallowed a camera!" The doctor looks at him and replies, " Well, leave it a few days and see what develops!" The boy replies, "What? Its a fucking digital, you old cunt." | |
Joke by twayne, in Illness and mortality > Doctor - Tagged camera , classics retold , doctor , digital , boy , man , cunt , medicine - Current Score: 98 - Added: 2 months, 7 days ago
| The Pope was sitting in his garden, when he suddenly felt the urge to masturbate. Because of the high walls around the garden he thought it would be alright. Just as he was reaching the vinegar strokes, he saw a flash from the top of the opposite wall. When he went to investigate, he saw a photographer there with camera in hand. The Pope asked him for the film in the camera because if the picture got out, it would ruin the Catholic faith. The photographer refused, stating that the picture that he has taken would earn him at least five thousand pounds. So the Pope did a deal with him and bought the camera off him for five thousand pounds. Later, the Pope was walking through the garden with the camera swinging on his shoulder. One of his cleaners saw him with the camera and said to him, "that's a nice camera you have there, how much did it cost you?" "I bought it off a photographer and it cost me five thousand pounds." "Five thousand pounds" exclaimed the cleaner, "he must have seen you coming!" | |
Joke by gi88er, in Religion and racism > Pope - Tagged pope , camera - Current Score: 53 - Added: 3 months, 13 days ago
| What do a condom and a camera have in common? They both capture the moment. | |
Joke by SQUEAKY, in Sex and shit > Condom - Tagged condom , camera - Current Score: 17 - Added: 1 week ago
| Why is it that Channel 4's Big Brother are allowed to install loads of cameras in a house and watch the residents' every move but, when I put one tiny camera in my sexy neighbour's bathroom, I get bound over for 12 months. There's no justice. Viz | |
Joke by slowriot, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged big brother , camera , jail , neigbor - Current Score: 12 - Added: 1 month, 12 days ago
| Twin sisters in Sunnyside Nursing Home were turning 100 years old. The local newspaper sends a photographer to take pictures... One of the twins was hard of hearing and the other could hear quite well. Once the photographer arrived he asked the sisters to sit on the sofa. The deaf sister said to her twin, "WHAT DID HE SAY?" "WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!", said the other. "Now get a little closer together," said the cameraman. Again, "WHAT DID HE SAY?" "HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE." So they wiggled up close to each other. "Just hold on for a bit longer, I've got to focus a little," said the photographer. Yet again, "WHAT DID HE SAY?" "HE SAYS HE'S GONNA FOCUS!" With a big grin the deaf twin shouted out, "OH MY GOD - BOTH OF US!" | |
Joke by niggers out, in Sex and shit > Oldies - Tagged old ladies , fuck , camera , photographer - Current Score: 11 - Added: 2 months, 28 days ago
| Digital Camera £149 Tripod £12 Walking into my room and seeing my 27 year old brother crying after seeing himself having a wank on youtube....PRICELESS!!! | |
Joke by Marksyy, in Sex and shit > Wanking - Tagged camera , youtube , wanking , lol - Current Score: 6 - Added: 2 months, 26 days ago
| A woman finds out that her husband is cheating on her while stationed in Saudi Arabia. So she sends him a very special care package. He is very excited to get a package from his wife back home. He finds that it contains a batch of home made cookies and a VHS tape of his favourite TV shows. He invites a couple of his buddies over and they're all sitting around having a great time eating the cookies and watching some episodes of South Park. Right in the middle of one episode the tape cuts to a home video of his wife on her knees giving his best friend oral sex. After a few seconds, he does his business in her mouth and she turns and spits the load right into the mixing bowl of cookie dough. She then looks at the camera and says, "By the way, I want a divorce." | |
Joke by the phantom phucker, in Sex and shit > Blow Job - Tagged cheating , saudi arabia , vhs , cookies , south park , oral sex , camera , divorce - Current Score: 5 - Added: 10 months ago
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