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| This scottish bloke goes on a skiing holiday to canada. After a hard day on the slopes he retires to a bar at the bottom of the mountain. After about 5 or 6 whiskeys, he looks up and notices a stuffed animal antlers on the wall with. He asks the barman "What the fuck is that?" The barman says "It's a Moose" The scottish chap says "Fuck me! How big are the cats!? |    |
Joke by pornstar, in Religion and racism > Scottish - Tagged moose , cat , canada , scottish , mountain , bar , whiskey , animal , antler - Current Score: 191 - Added: 4 months ago
| What's the difference between Canada, Mexico and America? America has nice neighbours. | |
Joke by baldlice, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged canada , america , mexico - Current Score: 106 - Added: 2 months, 27 days ago
| Two Irish hunters got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. They managed to bag 6. As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only 4 moose. The two lads objected strongly. "Last year we shot six. The pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as yours." Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. However, even on full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down. Somehow, surrounded by the moose bodies, Paddy and Mick survived the crash. After climbing out of the wreckage, Paddy asked Mick, "Any idea where we are?" Mick replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year." | |
Joke by Dumbshit, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged moose , irish , canada - Current Score: 67 - Added: 3 months, 23 days ago
| A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day. Carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!" After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office (the customer is always right!) The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, "$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk. The president was of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around. "Where did you get this money?" The old lady replied, "I make bets." The president then asked, "Bets? What kind of bets?" The old woman said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square." "Ha!" laughed the president, "That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!" The old lady challenged, "So, would you like to take my bet?" "Sure," said the president, I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!" The little old lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM as a witness?" "Sure!" replied the confident president. That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet. The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet: "$25,000 says the president's balls are square!" The president agreed with the bet again and the old lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see...... The president did. The little old lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them. "Well, Okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure." Just then, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. The President asked the old lady, "What the hell's the matter with your lawyer?" She replied, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00 AM today, I'd have The Bank of Canada's president's balls in my hand." | |
Joke by niggers out, in Illness and mortality > Old people - Tagged old , lady , balls , bank , canada , lawyer - Current Score: 49 - Added: 4 months, 29 days ago
| What do you call an intelligent American? Canadian. | |
Joke by bluedishwasher, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged america , canada - Current Score: 44 - Added: 2 months, 27 days ago
| It was announced today that Canada is preparing to increase it's commitment to assisting the United States in its war against terrorism. They have promised to commit two of their largest battleships, 6,000 armed troops, and 60 fighter jets. However, after the exchange rate is factored in, that comes down to a canoe, two Mounties and a flying squirrel. | |
Joke by welsh twat, in Religion and racism > Canooks - Tagged canook , canada , troops , squirrel - Current Score: 12 - Added: 1 week ago
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