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| An atheist explorer in the deepest Amazon Forest suddenly finds himself surrounded by a group of blood thirsty cannibals. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself, "Oh God, I'm screwed this time!" Suddenly there is a ray of light from Heaven and a voice booms out, "No, you are not screwed. All you have to do is pick up that rock at your feet and bash in the head of the chief cannibal standing in front of you". So the explorer picks up the rock and proceeds to bash the chief unconscious. As he stands over the body, breathing heavily and surrounded by hundreds of cannibals with looks of shock and anger on their faces, God's voice booms out again and says, "OK.....Now You're screwed". |    |
Joke by Hercules Poirot, in Jokes with no home > Random - Tagged explorer , cannibals , god , atheist - Current Score: 114 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| A plane was flying over the African jungle when the engine failed. Its three passengers, an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman parachuted to safety but were captured by cannibals and brought in front of the chief. He took one look at them. "Not you fuckers again! I'm running out of punchlines here." | |
Joke by marley, in Jokes with no home > Cannibals - Tagged cannibals - Current Score: 95 - Added: 3 months, 22 days ago
| Did you hear about the cannibal that turned up late for lunch? They gave him the cold shoulder | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Cannibals - Tagged cannibals - Current Score: 67 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman are captured in the jungle by cannibals. They're tied up and carried back to the cannibal village. When they get there the Englishman and Scotsman are untied and put in the cooking pot. The cannibals untie the Irishman and let him go. The Englishman says to the chief, "I'm awfully sorry old boy but why exactly are you letting Paddy off the hook?" . The chief says, "Because the last time we put him in the pot he ate all the fucking potatos." | |
Joke by atavachron, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged cannibals - Current Score: 16 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| A big mining company recently hired several cannibals. "You are all part of our team now", said the HR manager during the welcoming briefing. "You get all the usual benefits and you can go to the cafeteria for something to eat, but please don't eat any of the other employees". The cannibals promised they would not. Four weeks later their boss remarked, "You're all working very hard, and I'm satisfied with you. However, one of our Admins has disappeared. Do any of you know what happened?" The cannibals all shook their heads indicating "no". After the boss had left, the leader of the cannibals said to the others, "Which one of you idiots ate the Admin ?" A hand rose hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals continued, "You fool! For four weeks we've been eating Managers and Supervisors and no one noticed anything, but noooooo, you had to go and eat someone important! | |
Joke by King Mustard, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged cannibal , cannibals , admin , admins , administrator , administrators , manager , managers , supervisor , supervisors , boss , work - Current Score: 14 - Added: 6 months, 12 days ago
| Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other, "does this taste funny to you?" | |
Joke by Drooler, in Jokes with no home > Cannibals - Tagged cannibals , clown - Current Score: 9 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| An Englishman, Scotsman and an irishman get captured in a jungle by a cannibal tribe and they are tied up and stood in a row. The englishman studied tribes for a living and said. "they always use guns. but mention a natural disaster and they run away!" The tribe go to shoot the englishman. "3, 2, 1" "Volcanoes!" The tribe runs away but returns to finish the Scotsman. "3, 2, 1" "Hurricanes!" says the scotsman They run away and return to the Irishman "3, 2, 1" "FIRE!" | |
Joke by haza103, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged irish , englishman , scotsman , cannibals - Current Score: 3 - Added: 7 months, 13 days ago
| How do they take care of battered women in a cannibal village? With a knife and fork. | |
Joke by Anarchist008, in Illness and mortality > Cannibals - Tagged cannibals , battered women - Current Score: -3 - Added: 2 months, 23 days ago
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