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| Apparently, the Popemobile has 3 inch thick bullet-proof glass. There's fucking faith for you. |    |
Joke by lashley, in Religion and racism > Pope - Tagged pope , catholicism , catholic , religion , car , bill hicks - Current Score: 375 - Added: 1 month, 14 days ago
| What does a catholic priest have in common with a pint of guiness? Black coat, white collar & you need to watch your arse if you get a dodgy one. | |
Joke by Retard, in Religion and racism > Catholicism - Tagged guinness , priest , catholicism - Current Score: 142 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| Early one morning, the Pope was having a nice shower, when he felt a certain tingle down there. Figuring that a little sin never did anyone any harm, he proceeds to have a quick wank. Just as he climaxes though, he here's a strange "click" noise. Quickly, he grabs a towel and exits the shower, and sees a paparazzo lens sticking through the bathroom window. "You there!" He shouts. "You must give me that camera!" "Are you kidding?" says the paparazzo. "I just got a photo of the Pope wanking! I'm rich" "But my child," says the pope, "You could bring down the Church if people knew! Think of the chaos, the heartache!" "Sorry pal, this pic is worth millions to me." The pope sighs. "Very well, if I give you ten million euros will you give me the camera?" The paparazzo thinks on this for a moment and agrees. So the Pope writes him a cheque, takes the camera and sends him on his way. Later, as he's sitting on his bed grumbling and trying to get the film out, a maid walks in. "Oh, your Holiness," says the maid, "that's a very nice camera. How much did it cost you?" "Ten million euros." grunts the Pope. "Ten million euros? TEN MILLION EUROS?" They must have seen you coming!" | |
Joke by RossMcG, in Religion and racism > Catholicism - Tagged pope , catholic , wank , masturbate , catholicism - Current Score: 108 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Abstinence makes the Church grow fondlers. | |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > Christianity - Tagged catholicism , priest - Current Score: 106 - Added: 8 months, 7 days ago
| Being a priest is a lot like being a plumber; you spend much of your time plugging small holes. | |
Joke by gartnavel, in Religion and racism > Priest - Tagged priest , priests , paedophile , paedophilia , catholic , catholicism , plumber , sex - Current Score: 24 - Added: 1 month, 14 days ago
| A disheveled man walks into a bar with a small box with music coming out of it and puts it on top of the bar. Curious, the bartender says, "Hey pal, what's the music box for?" The man protects the box, but asks the bartender, "If I show you something you've never seen before, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender laughs and says, "Buddy, I've been tending bar for thrity years! I've seen EVERYTHING! If you show me something I've never seen before, I'll give free drinks to EVERYBODY!" Now all the patrons in the bar are watching. The bum opens the box, and inside, is a miniature man about so tall playing a piano. He plays Beethoven, ragtime, Jerry Lee Lewis, Elton John and is just going nuts playing stuff. Everyone mills around ohhing and awing. The bartender is overcome with amusement: "Allright! Drinks for everyone!" The crowd packs in and gets their drinks, then goes and sits down. When they're alone again, the bartender can't help himself. "So, uh, listen pal, where'd you get the tiny musician?" "Well", says the bum, downing his drink, " just a couple hours ago, I woke up on the beach, and I didn't want to live anymore, so I was shuffling down the shore with my feet in the sand, ready to throw myself in the ocean, and I kicked up a bottle. I thought maybe it would fetch me enough money for another drink so I rubbed the dirt off and a genie popped out and granted me one wish!" "Oh, I see!", said the bartender, actually a little confused,"so you wished for a twelve inch pianist?" "Yeah. Something like that...", says the drunk. | |
Joke by Nunyuz, in Sex and shit > Penis - Tagged size , penis , drunk , genie , sex , monkeys , smut , porn , catholicism - Current Score: 21 - Added: 1 year ago
| One afternoon Paddy and Mick were having a pint at a pub across from a brothel. For the craic, they sat in the front so they could watch the comings and goings across the street. The two lads were shocked when a Presbyterian minister walked into the brothel. "Begod," says Paddy, "that's a shame to see a man of the cloth going bad!" A while later a Jewish rabbi walked into the brothel. "Ah," says Mick, "wouldja lookit that! Tis a shame to see the Jews giving in to temptation as well!" More time passed and a Catholic priest walked into the brothel. Both men sat up in their bar stools with concern. Paddy turned to Mick and says in a whisper - "Didja see that, Mick? One of them girls must be on the deathbed!" | |
Joke by hippo, in Religion and racism > Jamaicans - Tagged paddy , mick , rabbi , priest , catholicism - Current Score: 13 - Added: 2 months, 21 days ago
| Are you allowed to kiss a nun? Yes, but don't get into the habit. | |
Joke by gartnavel, in Religion and racism > Nuns - Tagged religion , catholic , catholicism , christianity , nun , nuns , kiss , kissing - Current Score: 7 - Added: 1 month, 5 days ago
| Just when you think the Catholic Church is starting to shake of the stereotype that all its priest are paedophiles they go and commission this... http://www.jdbshow.com/images/stainglass.jpg | |
Joke by lewis3000, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged catholicism , peadophilia - Current Score: 5 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| A farmer named Patrick lived alone in the countryside with a pet dog which he loved and doted on. After many long years of companionship, the dog finally died so Patrick went to the parish priest. "Father, my dear old dog is dead. Could you be saying a mass for the creature?" Father O'Reilly replied, "I am so very sorry to hear about your dog`s death but, unfortunately, we cannot have services for an animal in the church. However, there`s a new denomination down the road, no telling what they believe, but maybe they`ll do something for the animal." Patrick said, "I'll go right now. Do you think $500 is enough to donate for the service?" Father O'Reilly replied, "$500? Why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic?" | |
Joke by agentleman, in Religion and racism > Catholicism - Tagged catholicism , dog , patrick , priests - Current Score: 0 - Added: 1 month, 11 days ago
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