Sorted by: Highest Scoring | Lowest Scoring | Newest | Oldest
Page 1 of 2 - Next Page
| Three tough looking rats are sitting at a bar drinking. The first rat puts down his beer and turns to the others, saying, "You know how tough I am? Well, you know that rat poison they put down in the kitchen? I eat that stuff for breakfast lunch and dinner!" The second rat looks unimpressed and says, "That's nothing. You know those big fucking rat traps they got all over the place? Well, get this - I jump in and out of them for a bit exercise. That's how tough I am!" The third rat knocks back his whiskey, slams the glass down on the bar and heads for the door. "Where are you going?" asks the first rat. "I'm off home to shag the cat", replies the third rat. |    |
Joke by mamma mia, in Jokes with no home > Animals - Tagged rats , fuck , cats , rat poison , sex , animals , mice - Current Score: 293 - Added: 4 months, 29 days ago
| Torrential rain has been hampering relief efforts in the Chinese earthquake zone.... Luckily for survivors, it's been raining cats and dogs. | |
Joke by rs79, in Celebrity and news events > Chinese Earthquake - Tagged rain , chinese earthquake , cats , dogs - Current Score: 133 - Added: 6 months ago
| I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent. Cats don't listen. Cats don't come in when you call and cats like to stay out all night. When they are at home, cats like to be left alone to sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat...! | |
Joke by cooperman, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged women , cats , lost me - Current Score: 88 - Added: 9 months, 26 days ago
| Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were. The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist and the fourth man was a Government Employee. To show off, the Engineer called his cat, 'T-square, do your stuff.' T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, 'Spreadsheet, do your stuff.' Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies. Everyone agreed that was good. But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, 'Measure, do your stuff.' Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass. Everyone agreed that was pretty good. Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, 'What can your cat do?' The Government Employee called his cat and said, 'Coffee Break,do your stuff.' Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, shat on the paper, screwed the other three cats, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Workers Compensation and went home for the rest of the day on sick leave. AND THAT'S WHY I WANT TO WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT. | |
Joke by sticky, in Jokes with no home > Cat - Tagged cats , government - Current Score: 33 - Added: 4 months ago
| Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation. | |
Joke by robharr, in Jokes with no home > Cat - Tagged jimmy carr , cats , nine , lives - Current Score: 23 - Added: 2 months ago
| Cats and drunks - people who can make themselves comfortable anywhere. | |
Joke by Wolfzfang, in Jokes with no home > Animals - Tagged cats , drunks , people , who , eat , shit - Current Score: 23 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| How do you make a cat flap? Kick it off a cliff. | |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged animals , cats - Current Score: 21 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| I do love a nice tight pussy.... This is why I'm banned from my local Cats Protection League. | |
Joke by whogivesashit, in Sex and shit > Pussy - Tagged cats , protect , nothing , league - Current Score: 16 - Added: 2 months ago
| Why don't nigger kids play in the sandbox? Cats keep covering them up. | |
Joke by Dursley, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged nigger , sand box , cats , kids - Current Score: 15 - Added: 5 months ago
| Studies have proven that cats are smarter than dogs. How many cats do you see sat by a homeless person? | |
Joke by J111STRX8, in Jokes with no home > Homeless - Tagged homeless , cats , dogs , smarter - Current Score: 15 - Added: 1 month ago
Page 1 of 2 - Next Page
Custurd spent 0.33ms doing 12 queries and 0.01s processing. She's 1.51% angry.
Sickipedia v2.7 - a cr3ative media® project. © '05-09 Rob Manuel