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| I was asked to run a marathon and I said, "no chance." Then I was told it was for spastic and blind kids, so I thought, "Fuck it. I could win that!" |    |
Joke by caliban, in Illness and mortality > Disability - Tagged blind , spastic , kids , children , child , kid , marathon , run , charity , win , race , dave spikey - Current Score: 760 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| I'm not giving money to help the fucking africans anymore, kind hearted burnley fans made a donation, and the ungrateful nigger threw it back at them. | |
Joke by geemack, in Religion and racism > Africans - Tagged charity , africans , donation , nigger , didier drogba - Current Score: 249 - Added: 6 days ago
| I was in the shopping centre this morning when a man approached me, collecting for Alzhiemer's. I said, "I've already given - don't you remember?" | |
Joke by orcamong, in Illness and mortality > Alzheimers - Tagged illness , memory , alzhimers , charity , collecting - Current Score: 176 - Added: 2 months ago
| I've stopped donating to my Zimbabwean charity. I found out all the people over there are billionaires. | |
Joke by The Wolf, in Celebrity and news events > Zimbabwe - Tagged zimbabwe , charity , high exchange rate - Current Score: 142 - Added: 3 months ago
| I was out collecting money for a sponsored walk last week... I collected so much that I got a taxi instead. | |
Joke by GhandisFlipflops, in Jokes with no home > Spastic - Tagged sponsored , walk , charity , jimmy carr - Current Score: 136 - Added: 3 months ago
| A Charity Pantomime in aid of paranoid schizophrenics and homosexuals descended into chaos yesterday when someone shouted, "he's behind you." | |
Joke by Guest, in Celebrity and news events > Charity - Tagged schcizophrenia , fruitloop , fruitcake , nutter , homosexual , gay , charity , paranoia - Current Score: 103 - Added: 11 months ago
| I just got a Charity appeal letter from the Alzheimer's Society. Its the 43rd one this week. | |
Joke by baldlice, in Illness and mortality > Alzheimers - Tagged alzheimers , appeal , charity - Current Score: 98 - Added: 4 months ago
| I've just had a Charity appeal letter from Greenpeace. Apparently for two pounds a week, I can help save the environment. Why don't you stop sending me appeal letters, that will save a few trees you cunts? | |
Joke by baldlice, in Celebrity and news events > Greenpeace - Tagged greenpeace , charity , save the trees , appeal - Current Score: 92 - Added: 2 months ago
| A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no." The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?" The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again. "or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!" The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..." On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?" | |
Joke by efcbluenose, in Jokes with no home > Money - Tagged lawyer , money , disabled , charity - Current Score: 65 - Added: 11 months ago
| I was out collecting for charity the other day. A copper came up to me and said, "hey, you can't rattle your tin, it's against the law." I told him, "fuck off, I'm collecting for Parkinson's." | |
Joke by cuntyhater, in Illness and mortality > Parkinsons - Tagged copper , charity , parkinsons - Current Score: 50 - Added: 1 month, 22 days ago
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