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Browsing tag: chelsea
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Lost the Carling cup?
Lost the Premier league?
Lost the European cup?
Lost a Parent?

Talk to Frank.
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Joke by essexboy, in Celebrity and news events > Frank Lampards Mum - Tagged chelsea , frank lampard , drugs  - Current Score: 454 - Added: 6 months, 11 days ago

Jose Mourinho has said he wants to go back to Portugal and never be seen from or heard from again.

The McCanns have offered to help.
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Joke by Guest, in Celebrity and news events > Jose Mourinho - Tagged chelsea , mourinho , madeleine , madeleine mccann , maddie  - Current Score: 342 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago

Ann Summers has brought out a new lubricant called KY Terry.

It's designed to help you slip in the box more easily.
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Joke by REVOL, in Celebrity and news events > John Terry - Tagged football , sports , chelsea , john terry  - Current Score: 196 - Added: 6 months, 7 days ago

Chelsea losing the Champions League final wasn't such a bad thing for Frank Lampard - he'd had a few weeks to practice his sad face.I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by stupot64, in Celebrity and news events > Frank Lampard - Tagged frank lampard , chelsea , football , dead mum  - Current Score: 178 - Added: 6 months, 12 days ago

This Big black prostitute who was also a Chelsea fan, got a tattoo of John Terry and Frank Lampard on the inside of her thighs.

She says to her punter "If you can guess who they are you get a free shag".

He looks to the left and then to the right and says "I dunno who those ugly bastards are but the one in the middle with the fat lips and curly hair is Shaun Wright-Philips!
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Joke by pornstar, in Sex and shit > Prostitution - Tagged black , prostitute , chelsea , tattoo , fat , lips  - Current Score: 171 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago

Frank lampard has asked Didier Drogba not to attend his mums funeral.

In case he dives in the box.
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Joke by GIZZARD, in Celebrity and news events > drogba - Tagged drogba , chelsea , lampard , funeral  - Current Score: 124 - Added: 7 months, 7 days ago

To Sickipedia from a Happy Hammers Fan..!
(..to the tune of Sing a Song of Sixpence)

Sing a song of Chelsea
And how they lost the cup
They took the game to penalties
Then John Terry fucked it up
The team all looked like Avram
The players were so glum
But me I havn't laughed so much
Since Lampard lost his mum
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Joke by lovelace, in Celebrity and news events > Chelsea - Tagged football , chelsea , man utd , john terry , frank lampard , song , rhyme , champions league cup , avram  - Current Score: 95 - Added: 6 months, 10 days ago

Did you hear about the new 'Chelsea Bra'?

Lots of support but no cups.
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Joke by baldlice, in Celebrity and news events > John Terry - Tagged john terry , chelsea , cup  - Current Score: 90 - Added: 6 months, 10 days ago

Police are called to Old Trafford. A man in full Chelsea strip is standing on top of the main stand, threatening to throw himself off.

The police negotiator says to him, "come on mate, it's not that bad, don't do it!"

"You don't get it!" says the Chelsea fan, "for years I've been a Chelsea supporter, and this year I was convinced we would win everything. Instead, we were kicked out of the FA cup by Barnsley... we lost the Carling Cup final to Spurs... then we lost the Premiership to the Mancs, and then we went to the Champions League final and Man United beat us again! I can't take it any more!"

"Ok mate, I do understand your pain," replied the negotiator, "but I don't understand one thing... why are you here at Old Trafford? Why aren't you jumping off the main stand at Stamford Bridge?"

The Chelsea fan looked at the policeman and replied, "have you seen the fucking QUEUE?"
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Joke by calibrax, in Celebrity and news events > Champions League Final - Tagged chelsea , football , john terry , manchester , united , champions , league  - Current Score: 77 - Added: 6 months, 10 days ago

A Chelsea fan goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, every time I masturbate I can't help shouting 'come on Chelsea'!"

Doctor replies "Don't worry, a lot of wankers say that!"
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Joke by Joke, in Sex and shit > camping - Tagged chelsea , wank , doctor , masturbate  - Current Score: 75 - Added: 3 months, 9 days ago

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