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| A man takes his nine year old daughter to the doctor. After several hours in the waiting room, (NHS...) they're called in. "Hello," the doctor says. "How can I help you?" The man nods, "It's my daughter, I was wondering if you could put her on birth control." "Birth control?" the doctor is incredulous. "She's too young to be sexually active!" "Sexually active?" the father says, "She just lies there like her mother!" |    |
Joke by co2, in Sex and shit > Incest - Tagged incest , paedophilia , sex , daughter , chemist , birth control , condom , paedophile , josef , fritzl , austria - Current Score: 421 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| After queueing up for almost half an hour in the chemist last week, I finally got to the counter and the woman looked at me and said, "I'm really sorry about your wait." In a rattled state, I replied, "you're not so fucking skinny yourself, actually." | |
Joke by mayfield4, in Sex and shit > Fat - Tagged chemist , fat , weight , skinny - Current Score: 135 - Added: 1 month, 26 days ago
| The other day I walked into my local chemists, and asked the manager if they sold Vaseline. "No, I'm afraid we're out of stock at the moment, have you tried boots?" I looked at him and said "Don't be daft, I wanna slide in, not fucking march in!" | |
Joke by FengShuiNinja, in Sex and shit > Vaseline - Tagged chemist , boots , vaseline , fsn - Current Score: 105 - Added: 1 year ago
| A woman walks into a chemist and asks the man behind the counter if he sells extra large condoms. He replies, "Yes, we do. Would you like to buy some?" She replies, "No, but do you mind if i wait around here until someone does?" | |
Joke by Badvirus, in Sex and shit > Condom - Tagged woman , chemist , condoms - Current Score: 62 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| A man went to his pharmacist to get a double dose of Viagra. The pharmacist told him that he couldn't give him a double dose. "Why not?" asked the man. "Because it's not safe," replied the pharmacist. "But I need it really bad," said the man. "Well, why do you need it so badly?" asked the pharmacist. The man said, "my girlfriend is coming into town on Friday, my ex-wife will be here on Saturday. My wife is coming home on Sunday. Can't you see? I must have a double dose." The pharmacist finally relented saying, "okay, I'll give it to you, but you have to come in on Monday morning so that I can check you to see if there are any side effects." On Monday, the man dragged himself in, his right arm in a sling. The pharmacist asked, "what happened to you?" The man said, "no-one showed up." | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Wanking - Tagged viagra , sex , wanking , chemist , pharmacist - Current Score: 62 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| A man walks into a chemist, buys a condom, then walks out of the store laughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there's no law preventing weird people from buying condoms. Maybe it's a good thing. The next day, the man comes back to the shop, purchases another condom, and once again he leaves the store laughing wildly. This piques the interest of the pharmacist. What's so funny about buying a johnny, anyway? So he tells his assistant, "If this guy ever comes back, I want you to follow him to see where he goes." Sure enough, the next day the laugher is back. He buys the condom, starts cracking up, then leaves. The pharmacist tells his assistant to go follow the guy. About an hour later, the assistant comes back to the store. "Did you follow him? Where did he go?" asks the pharmacist. The assistant replies "Your house." | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Anti Men - Tagged sex , men , condoms , chemist - Current Score: 52 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| A woman in Boots sees a deal offering 5 boxes of Tampax for a pound. She can't believe how good the deal is and asks the manager, "Is that price correct?" "Sure is," says the manager, "It's a special offer, 5 boxes for a pound and there are no strings attached!" | |
Joke by vasocam, in Jokes with no home > Advice - Tagged chemist , tampax , boots - Current Score: 47 - Added: 11 months ago
| I went into a chemist yesterday and said to the bloke behind the counter, "excuse me, do you have cotton wool balls?" He said, "what do you think I am, a fuckin' teddy bear?" | |
Joke by pornstar, in Jokes with no home > Chemist - Tagged chemist , teddy , bear , cotton , wool , balls - Current Score: 45 - Added: 10 months ago
| Bloke goes into a chemists and asks the shop assistant .... "Do you sell deodorant?" "Yes Sir .....Ball type or aerosol???" she asks "Just the stuff for under my arms please" | |
Joke by Bacon Bonce, in Sex and shit > Balls - Tagged chemists , balls , arse , deodorant , aerosol , chemist - Current Score: 40 - Added: 1 month, 7 days ago
| A young lad wanders into Boots the Chemist and asked to buy condoms. The Chemist manages to convince the lad to buy a dozen multicoloured condoms which were on offer. 9 months later the lad is back to buy a maternity bra. "What bust?" asks the chemist. " I think it was the blue one" | |
Joke by BIRTHDAYDASTARD, in Jokes with no home > Childbirth - Tagged condoms , chemist - Current Score: 33 - Added: 7 months, 22 days ago
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