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| One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air, and then catch them in his mouth. In the middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question - and as he turned to answer her, a peanut fell in his ear. He tried and tried to dig it out but succeeded in only pushing it in deeper. He called his wife for assistance, and after hours of trying they became worried and decided to go to the hospital. As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date. After being informed of the problem, their Daughter's' date said he could get the peanut out. The young man told the father to sit down, then proceeded to shove two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard. When the father blew, the peanut flew out of his ear. The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man insisted that it was nothing. Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father and said, "That's so wonderful! Isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be when he grows older?" The father replied, "From the smell of his fingers, our son-in-law." |    |
Joke by Fishyninja, in Sex and shit > General - Tagged peanuts , fingering , girl , sex , choking , hospital , daughter , date - Current Score: 244 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| A woman sitting in an Adelaide restaurant suddenly began to cough. After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress, and two locals, Kenzie and Bruce sitting at the next table turned to look at her. Kin ya swaller? asked Kenzie The woman signalled 'No!', desperately shaking her head. Kin ya breathe?" asked Bruce. The woman shook her head No!!! With that, Kenzie walked behind her, lifted up the back of her dress, yanked down her knickers and ran his tongue up and down the crack of her arse. This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the obstruction flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again. Kenzie dropped her skirt and swaggered back to his table and took a deep swig of his beer. Bruce said in admiration "Ya know Kenzie, I'd heard of that bloody Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but that's the first time I ever seen somebody do it." | |
Joke by db001, in Jokes with no home > Drinking Jokes - Tagged aussie , bar , choking - Current Score: 31 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| What's the difference between choking a baby and a traffic light? I always stop when a traffic light goes red. | |
Joke by Genestealer, in Illness and mortality > Dead Babies - Tagged difference , choking , dead , baby - Current Score: 13 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| How do you stop a baby choking? Take your dick out of its mouth. | |
Joke by omphalophlebitis, in Sex and shit > Babies - Tagged baby , paedophile , choking - Current Score: 8 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
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