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| A dog goes into a hardware store and says: "I'd like a job please". The hardware store owner says: "We don't hire dogs, why don't you go join the circus?" The dog replies: "What the fuck would the circus want with a plumber?" |    |
Joke by RENEGADEPSYCHO, in Jokes with no home > Animals - Tagged dog , circus , plumber - Current Score: 166 - Added: 9 months ago
| Why is marriage like a three-ring circus? First comes the engagement ring, then comes the wedding ring and finally comes the suffering. | |
Joke by Badvirus, in Jokes with no home > Marriage - Tagged marriage , circus , engagement , wedding , suffering - Current Score: 117 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two young people show up. One is a good looking guy in his mid- twenties and the other is a gorgeous blonde about the same age. The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you both better be good or you're history. Here's your equipment - a chair, a whip, and a gun. Who wants to try out first?" The girl says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her, so she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her ankles. He continues to lick her calves, thighs, and pussy, and then rests his head at her feet. The circus owner's mouth is on the floor. He remarks, "I've never seen a display like that in my life." He then turns to the young man and asks, "Can you top that?" "No problem," replies the young man, "just get that fucking lion out of the way." | |
Joke by gangrath, in Sex and shit > Oral Sex - Tagged lion , lion tamer , circus , blonde - Current Score: 64 - Added: 7 months, 26 days ago
| Whats the difference between a Circus Act and some Lap Dancers One's a cunning array of stunts and the other is.............. | |
Joke by templett, in Jokes with no home > Whats the difference... - Tagged circus , lap dancers - Current Score: 38 - Added: 11 months ago
| A man approaches the circus manager and tells him about his act. "I drink two litres of petrol, strap ten bars of dynamite around my waist, hold a grenade in each hand, climb into a cardboard box and then finally set fire to myself." "Wow! That's amazing," says the manager. "Could you please demonstrate it for me?" The man replies, "better not, I can only do it once." | |
Joke by hahaha12345, in Jokes with no home > Circus - Tagged circus , dynamite , grenade , fire , petrol , box - Current Score: 30 - Added: 1 month, 12 days ago
| I fixed my wife up with a new job the other day - as a human cannonball. She went ballistic! | |
Joke by kenny, in Jokes with no home > Wife - Tagged wife , job , circus , guns - Current Score: 18 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| Little Johnny is a most shy and insecure boy and is taken to the Circus. Made to sit right in the front by his Auntie, and on come the Clowns. Immediately one runs to him and, thrusting a microphone under his nose says "Are you the front end of an Ass?" "No" says Johnny. "Are you the back end of an Ass?" "No" he replies. "Then I declare that you are no-end of an Ass" says the Clown triumphantly. Little johnny runs straight home in tears. His Mum says you must confront your fears to exorcise them from you forever and sends the poor boy back to the Circus the next day, only this time with Uncle Jim who is a master of the quick quip and witty repartie. "Watch your Uncle and learn" says Mum. Next day and poor Johnny is back in the front row, but this time with Uncle Jim master of the quick quip and witty repartie. Enter the Clowns, who this time make for Uncle Jim (master of the quick quip and witty repartie). "Are you the front end of an Ass?" they ask Jim, a master of the quick quip and witty repartie. "No" "Are you the back end of an Ass?" "No" says Jim, a master of the quick quip and witty repartie. "Then I declare that you are no end of an Ass"... But before the audience could react, Uncle Jim, a master of the quick quip and witty repartie, quick as a flash said "Fuck off you red nosed, big shoed cunt." | |
Joke by Grave, in Sex and shit > Little Johnny - Tagged circus , ass - Current Score: 16 - Added: 11 months ago
| An apprentice is training to be a lion tamer, and it's his first day. The master tamer is telling him what to do. "Firstly, if the lion growls, move back slightly. "Secondly, if the lion keeps growling, and moves towards you, move back a little more. "Thirdly, if the lion is still growling and advancing on you, throw a load of shit in its face." The apprentice replies, "but what if there is no shit to throw?" "Don't worry," replies the master, "if a lion is advancing on you, there will be!" | |
Joke by bizlop, in Sex and shit > Shit - Tagged shit , lion , circus , lion tamer , shitting himself - Current Score: 15 - Added: 3 months, 12 days ago
| When my grandmother lived in the USA she had to take my mother to the circus if they wanted to see a fat lady and a tattooed man - now they're fucking everywhere | |
Joke by welsh twat, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged tattoo , usa , fat , lady , circus - Current Score: 14 - Added: 1 week ago
| How do you kill a circus? Go for the juggler. | |
Joke by Forest Hump, in Jokes with no home > circus - Tagged circus , juggler - Current Score: 11 - Added: 3 months, 28 days ago
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