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| An Essex guy and an Essex girl are making out in his car when the girl says, "Put your finger inside of me!" He is only too willing to oblige. "Put another finger inside of me!" So he does. "Put your whole hand inside of me!" she says, moaning in pleasure. "Now put both hands inside of me!" she screams. "Now clap!" she gasps. "I can't clap!" replied the guy. "Tight, aren't I?" she smiles. |    |
Joke by the phantom phucker, in Religion and racism > Essex - Tagged essex , making out , car , finger , hand , clap , tight - Current Score: 102 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| The soldiers are tired and lonely after spending weeks in enemy territory. To entertain them, the Major called for this sexy dancer from the nearby town. She came, danced and when the first dance was done, the soldiers went mad. They clapped for 5 minutes. For her second number, she stripped and danced in sheer bra and G string. This time the applause went for 10 minutes. The next number she danced topless, and this time the applause went on and on. The Major had to come on stage and ask them to quiet down for the grand finale. For her last number, she was to strip completely and dance naked. The Major expected the soldiers to make enough noise to bring the roof down. But ten minutes later, there is no clapping and the dancer comes backstage. The Major asks her, "What happened? How come there was no clapping this time?" She replied with a wicked smile, "Major, how do you expect those poor boys to clap with one hand?" | |
Joke by niggers out, in Sex and shit > Wanking - Tagged dancer , clap , topless , naked , wank - Current Score: 76 - Added: 10 months, 18 days ago
| So this woman wakes up one morning with an itch down below. "Oh Christ!" she thinks, "must be thrush again, I'd better go see the GP." So she goes to the GP and he gives her an exam. "Well, it definitely isn't thrush." "So what is it then?" "You have maggots." "Oh, I'll bet it's my boyfriend fucking around again, I'll kill him! Probably that hot new blonde in his office!" "Calm down love, I sincerely doubt that you caught these from your boyfriend, even if he has had an affair at work. What's he do, anyway?" "He's a coroner." | |
Joke by RedstarChimera, in Sex and shit > Necrophilia - Tagged clap , cheating , maggots , necro - Current Score: 32 - Added: 4 months, 4 days ago
chrisdood got buried to -9. Reveal Joke
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