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| A very common male fantasy is to have two women at the same time. One to cook, one to clean. |    |
Joke by OhMyActualDays, in Sex and shit > Women - Tagged women , cook , clean , cooking , cleaning - Current Score: 191 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman... "Mr Cook?" "Yes," I replied. "I'm afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike." I said, "That's bullshit, 'cause my dog doesn't have a bike!" | |
Joke by cook9, in Jokes with no home > Clean - Tagged dog , bike , policeman , clean - Current Score: 158 - Added: 3 months, 19 days ago
| A man was sitting at a bar when he noticed a pirate walk in the front door. The pirate had a peg leg, a hook for one hand, and a patch over one eye. Feeling sorry for the pirate, the man said, "Come over here friend. You look like you've had a hard life and I'd like to buy you a drink." The pirate came over and ordered rum. "Just out of curiosity," the man said, "how did you lose your leg?" "Arrrgh!" said the pirate, "I lost that timber to a tiger shark in the Caribbean when I was thrown overboard for stealing a man's rum." "That's just terrible. How did you lose your hand?" the man said. "Arrrgh!" said the pirate, "I lost that fighting cannibals off Madagascar under Admiral Hawk." "Oh my!" the man said, "I can't even imagine! How did you lose your eye?" "Arrrgh! A seagull pooped in it!" said the pirate. "A seagull!" the man exclaimed. "Is seagull poop dangerous?!" he asked. "Nay, matey, it was me first day with the hook..." | |
Joke by kitkat456, in Jokes with no home > Clean - Tagged pirate , rum , clean - Current Score: 110 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| I have been using the new Shell V-Power petrol that is meant to clean out your engine as you use it. I've found it works on my wallet too... | |
Joke by staffer, in Jokes with no home > Petrol - Tagged wallet , clean , petrol , engine - Current Score: 104 - Added: 5 months, 8 days ago
| My wife told me that she'd take me to the cleaners in our divorce. "Why?" I asked, "cleaning is your job." | |
Joke by agentleman, in Jokes with no home > Divorce - Tagged wife , clean , cleaner , cleaning , divorce , womans job - Current Score: 91 - Added: 2 days ago
| I'm pissed off with everyone having go at black people. My best mate is black and theres nothing he wouldn't do for me. Cook,wash,clean,do my shopping,shine my shoes.... | |
Joke by justincider, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged pissed , people , best , mate , cook , wash , clean , shopping , shine , shoes - Current Score: 14 - Added: 3 months, 11 days ago
| How do you know when a mechanics just had sex? He's got a clean finger. | |
Joke by karlknight967, in Sex and shit > General - Tagged clean , mechanic , sex - Current Score: 13 - Added: 5 months, 19 days ago
| Tips for blokes -- How to clean a toilet: 1. Barrow cat from neighbour. 2. Pour soap into toilet. 3. Add cat and close lid. 4. Sit on lid. 5. Allow cat time to act. 6. Flush several times to rinse. 7. Raise lid and admire shine. | |
Joke by durjaya, in Jokes with no home > Blokes - Tagged cats , neighbours , clean , toilets - Current Score: 10 - Added: 1 month, 27 days ago
| A man walked over to a kid playing with a huge lizard and asked if he could see it. After fiddling around with it for a few moments, he asked what its name was. The kid replied with Tiny. "How on earth did you ever get a name like that for such a huge creature?" the man asked in awe. The kid replied with "Because hes my newt!" | |
Joke by kdivers, in Jokes with no home > Clean - Tagged animals , clean , newt - Current Score: 0 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
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