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| A family are driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen. Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry; that was an insect." To which, her son replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that." |    |
Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > Dildo - Tagged dildo , cock , insect - Current Score: 1636 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| My girlfriend said I've got the biggest cock she'd ever seen, That's one of the benefits of going out with a 10 year old. | |
Joke by issachunt, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged cock , girlfriend , paedophile , sex - Current Score: 1239 - Added: 11 months ago
| How do you know if your girlfriend is too young for you? You have to make aeroplane noises to get your cock in her mouth. | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged child , abuse , oral , cock , jimmy carr - Current Score: 1015 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| My daughter had a charades party for her birthday. After my turn I was beaten up by the other dads. It would seem that holding my cock and wanking furiously while staring at my daughters friends is not the best way to do Gary glitter. | |
Joke by justincider, in Celebrity and news events > Gary Glitter - Tagged daughter , charades , party , dads , cock , wanking - Current Score: 519 - Added: 2 months, 3 days ago
| According to Sebastian Coe, "There is no greater feeling than representing your country at the Olympics." Really? Surely having Angelina Jolie sitting on your cock, whilst you snort coke off Jessica Alba's tits would feel greater? | |
Joke by rs79, in Celebrity and news events > Olympics - Tagged sebastian coe , angelina jolie , jessica alba , tits , coke , cock , olympics - Current Score: 452 - Added: 3 months, 25 days ago
| A woman goes into her local music store looking for an old record; behind the counter is small young boy. She says: "Excuse me sonny, but do you have Jingle Bells on a 7 inch?" He says: "No, but I've got dangling balls on a 9 inch." "That's not a record is it?" "It is for a 10 year old." | |
Joke by issachunt, in Sex and shit > 2 Girls 1 Cup - Tagged record , balls , little johnny , cock , christmas - Current Score: 385 - Added: 1 year ago
| I said "Darling, let's try something new in the bedroom... I'll get some chocolate spread, some whipped cream, and a few strawberries. "Then I'll paint my cock with the chocolate spread, and call the kids in for a 'special treat'. Then, one by one, I'll pop the strawberries up my arse, squirt cream down my crack, and while Emily deepthroats me for the last of the chocolate, Jessica can my lick my arsehole and swallow strawberries as I shit them out. "Then it'll be time to pop their cherries. I'll start with Jess cos she's already 9, she'll be a bit more developed. While I'm fucking her childish vagina, Emily can lick up the blood and get her own tiny cunt ready for a good stretching. "Then I'll finish off by banging them in the arse a couple of times before squirting my load over their pretty little faces. Shall we give it a go?" My wife looked stunned. "OVER MY DEAD BODY!" she said. I said "Fuck me you're into some weird shit" | |
Joke by storyteller, in Sex and shit > Incest - Tagged incest , necrophilia , paedophilia , virgin , aristocrats , rape , woman , cunt , death , kids , cock , paedo , fuck , arse , children , dad , daughter , sick - Current Score: 285 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| It is now illegal to wear your clothes on the wrong part of your body. Take Gary Glitter for example; he was jailed for putting a Thai on his cock. | |
Joke by MICK THE MAG, in Celebrity and news events > Gary Glitter - Tagged gary glitter , illegal , clothes , molester , thai , cock - Current Score: 265 - Added: 3 months, 11 days ago
| There's an Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman all talking about their teenage daughters.The Englishman says, "I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day and I found a packet of cigarettes. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she smoked." The Scotsman says, "that's nothing. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I came across a half full bottle of Vodka. I was really shocked as I didn't even know she drank." With that the Irishman says, "both of you have got nothing to worry about. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I found a packet of condoms. I was really shocked. I didn't even know she had a cock." | |
Joke by pdf1, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged irish , daughter , cock - Current Score: 235 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| "Oh doctor," moaned the woman to her doctor, "everyone calls me a nymphomaniac." "I understand," said the doctor, "but I'll be able to take better notes if you'll let go of my cock." | |
Joke by mamma mia, in Sex and shit > Nymphomania - Tagged doctor , woman , nymphomaniac , cock - Current Score: 231 - Added: 4 months, 13 days ago
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