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| I like to tell dirty jokes at work to help make the time go by. One time we laughed so much we nearly dropped the coffin! |    |
Joke by Aspen, in Illness and mortality > Funeral - Tagged funeral , coffin , jokes , dirty jokes - Current Score: 150 - Added: 3 months, 6 days ago
| My friend recently died; he drowned. So, at his funeral, instead of a wreath, we put a life belt on the coffin. ...well, it's what he'd have wanted. | |
Joke by gartnavel, in Illness and mortality > Drowning - Tagged drown , drowing , death , dead , killed , funeral , friend , friends , coffin - Current Score: 111 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| I opened my front door this morning to find a large black coffin. I gave him a pack of Lockets and told him to fuck off. | |
Joke by CUTTSY, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged door , black , coffin - Current Score: 106 - Added: 9 months, 28 days ago
| One of the city's top cardiac specialists died. At his funeral, his coffin was placed in front of a huge replica of a heart made of red roses. When the priest finished the sermon and everyone had said their good-byes, the large heart opened up, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed again. It was a majestic tribute to the much loved cardiologist. Suddenly, one of the mourners burst into a fit of laughter. Irritated by his insensitivity, the man sitting next to him asked, "why are you laughing, Mister?" "I was just thinking about my own funeral," the man replied, "I'm a gynaecologist..." | |
Joke by niggers out, in Illness and mortality > Funeral - Tagged funeral , gynaecologist , heart , surgeon , coffin - Current Score: 101 - Added: 6 months, 7 days ago
| How many nails are used to make a lesbian's coffin? None - it's all tongue and groove | |
Joke by gazstewi, in Sex and shit > Lesbian - Tagged nails , lesbian , coffin - Current Score: 72 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| When I was a boy, I had a jack-in-the-box. My parents weren't happy about it. Apparently, masturbating in your grandad's coffin isn't the done thing. | |
Joke by ItchyAnus, in Sex and shit > Masturbation - Tagged masturbation , coffin , jack in the box - Current Score: 65 - Added: 3 months, 14 days ago
| Plans have begun for Margaret Thatcher's state funeral. It'll be the first time ever the 21 gun salute is fired into the coffin. This funeral is gonna cost 3 million? For 3 million you could buy everyone in Scotland a shovel. We'll dig a hole so deep they will be able to hand the bitch over to Satan in person. | |
Joke by blue--ink, in Jokes with no home > Mock The Week - Tagged thatcher , coffin , dara obriain , funeral , satan , scotland , frankie boyle - Current Score: 49 - Added: 4 months, 16 days ago
| What's the worst thing about going down on your Grandmother? Hitting the back of your head on the coffin lid. | |
Joke by Killing Joke, in Sex and shit > Necrophilia - Tagged grandmother , coffin , head - Current Score: 39 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| What do a condom and a coffin have in common? They're both filled with stiffs, except one's coming and one's going. | |
Joke by salmon337, in Sex and shit > Condom - Tagged condom , coffin , erection , cum - Current Score: 29 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| Best day of my life was when i walked down the asile towards my wife, everyone was similing, her mum had a few nice things to say, i gave her a kiss and shut the fuckin coffin!!!!!! | |
Joke by the phantom phucker, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged best , wife , smiling , mum , kiss , coffin - Current Score: 22 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
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