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| Here are just a few of the amazing advantages from owning a company car: - It accelerates at a phenomenal rate; - It has a much shorter braking distance than your private car; - It takes speed bumps at twice the speed of private cars; - The battery, radiator water, oil and tyres never have to be checked; - It can always be driven to your destination, even with the oil warning light flashing; - It doesn't need cleaning at all, unlike private cars; - The suspension is reinforced to allow for the weekend loads of bricks, concrete slabs and other building material including trips to the rubbish tip; - Unusual and alarming engine noises are easily eliminated by turning up the radio; - It needs no security system and may be left anywhere, unlocked and with the keys in the ignition; and - It has special food and drink resistant seat material unlike a private car. |    |
Joke by EdgarBriggs, in Jokes with no home > Cars - Tagged company , cars , private , oil , engine - Current Score: 106 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| The manager of a large company was informed by the directors that he was overstaffed and that two of his three admin officers would have to be fired. All three were good at their job, so the problem was, which one to keep. He decided to put $20 extra in their paypackets and be guided by their responses. One kept the money without saying a word. Another said it was the company's mistake and she had invested the money to show that she had good business sense. The third gave the money back. Which admin officer kept her job? Actually, it was the blonde with big tits. | |
Joke by zitface, in Sex and shit > Women - Tagged manager , director , officer , company , job , fired , blonde , tits - Current Score: 55 - Added: 1 month ago
| Rape can never be referred to as "A try before you buy" in polite company. | |
Joke by poplockandrop, in Sex and shit > Rape - Tagged rape , polite , company , try , buy , crime - Current Score: 35 - Added: 4 months ago
| Why don't pensioners scream so much when you rape them? They're just glad to have a bit of company. | |
Joke by bleary, in Sex and shit > Pensioners - Tagged rape , old ladies , loneliness , company - Current Score: 29 - Added: 5 months ago
| This executive was interviewing a nervous young blonde women for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, "if you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?" The blonde quickly responded, "the living one." | |
Joke by mickle, in Celebrity and news events > viagra - Tagged executive , woman , company , living , dead - Current Score: 13 - Added: 6 months ago
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