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| How is a woman like a condom? Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick. |    |
Joke by MikeLit, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged condoms , woman , wallet - Current Score: 278 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| A man and a woman are in bed when the woman hands the man a packet of condoms. "They are Olympic condoms," she says "Olympic condoms?" he replies "Yes, they're coloured Gold, Silver, and Bronze." "I'll use the Gold," he says "No, use the Silver, you can come second for once." | |
Joke by pornstar, in Sex and shit > Condom - Tagged olympic , condoms , gold , silver , bronze - Current Score: 132 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day only to catch him sitting on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his penis in preparation for sex with his wife. Johnny's father, in an attempt to hide his full erection with a condom on it, bent over as if to look under the bed. Little Johnny asked curiously 'What ya doin dad?' His father quickly replied, 'I thought I saw a rat go underneath the bed.' To which Little Johnny replied 'What ya gonna do, fuck him?' | |
Joke by Hugh(_!_)Janus, in Sex and shit > Bestiality - Tagged sex , children , condoms , little jonny , little johnny , rat - Current Score: 120 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| A woman walks into a chemist and asks the man behind the counter if he sells extra large condoms. He replies, "Yes, we do. Would you like to buy some?" She replies, "No, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?" | |
Joke by Badvirus, in Sex and shit > Condom - Tagged woman , chemist , condoms - Current Score: 100 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves. Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over to him and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." The boy leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist." | |
Joke by mickle, in Sex and shit > Virgin - Tagged sex , parents , condoms , pharmacy - Current Score: 93 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year-old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, "What are these, Dad?". To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex." "Oh I see.", replied the boy, pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and ask, "Why are there 3 in this package?" The dad replies, "Those are for high-school boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday." "Cool!" says the boy. He notices a 6-pack and asks "Then who are these for?" "Those are for college men", the dad answers, "TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday and TWO for Sunday." "WOW!" exclaimed the boy;" Then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking up a 12-pack. With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for married men, One for January, one for February, one for March..." | |
Joke by NUFC, in Sex and shit > Condom - Tagged condoms , dad , son , college , high school , marriage - Current Score: 88 - Added: 1 year ago
| A man walks into a chemist, buys a condom, then walks out of the store laughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there's no law preventing weird people from buying condoms. Maybe it's a good thing. The next day, the man comes back to the shop, purchases another condom, and once again he leaves the store laughing wildly. This piques the interest of the pharmacist. What's so funny about buying a johnny, anyway? So he tells his assistant, "If this guy ever comes back, I want you to follow him to see where he goes." Sure enough, the next day the laugher is back. He buys the condom, starts cracking up, then leaves. The pharmacist tells his assistant to go follow the guy. About an hour later, the assistant comes back to the store. "Did you follow him? Where did he go?" asks the pharmacist. The assistant replies "Your house." | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Anti Men - Tagged sex , men , condoms , chemist - Current Score: 60 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Next time you use a pair of rubber gloves, you're going to smile when you think of this: A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves. 'Do you know how they make these gloves?' he asked. 'No, I don't,' she replied. 'Well,' he spoofed, 'there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size.' She didn't crack a smile.'Oh, well. I tried,' he thought. But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing. 'What's so funny?' he asked 'I was just envisioning how condoms are made!' Gotta watch those little old ladies! Their minds are always working! | |
Joke by niggers out, in Sex and shit > Old - Tagged old , lady , dentist , condoms , latex , gloves , ladies - Current Score: 58 - Added: 8 months ago
| Condoms are getting bloody expensive these days. It's actually cheaper just to fork out for the odd abortion now and then. | |
Joke by bleary, in Sex and shit > Babies - Tagged condoms , abortion , sex - Current Score: 57 - Added: 3 months, 24 days ago
| Little pricks go in little condoms. Big pricks go in big condoms. So what do you put fat pricks into? A NEWCASTLE UNITED SHIRT | |
Joke by niggers out, in Celebrity and news events > Newcastle United - Tagged luton , town , pricks , big , small , condoms - Current Score: 54 - Added: 8 months ago
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