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| Two men are driving through Philadelphia when they get pulled over by a Highway Patrolman. The cop walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver asks, "What the hell was that for?" The cop answers, "you're in Philadelphia son. When we pull you over, you better have your license ready when we get to your car." The driver says, "I'm sorry, Officer, I'm not from around here." The cop runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the guy his license back, walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks him on the head with the nightstick. The passenger asks, "what'd you do that for?" The cop says, "just making your wish come true." The passenger asks, "making what wish come true?" The cop says, "I know that, two miles down the road, you're gonna say to your buddy, 'I wish that asshole had tried that shit with me!'" |    |
Joke by baldlice, in Jokes with no home > Police - Tagged cops , arsehole , america - Current Score: 70 - Added: 5 months ago
| A man is driving happily along when he is pulled over by the police. The copper approaches him and politely asks, "Have you been drinking sir?" "Why?" snorts the man. "Is there a fat bird in my car?" | |
Joke by Lovelace, in Jokes with no home > Fat People - Tagged police , cops , drinking - Current Score: 49 - Added: 8 months ago
| How do you tell the difference between a British Police Officer, an Australian Police Officer and an American Police Officer? Pose the following question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do? UK POLICE OFFICER'S ANSWER Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 999? Why is this street so deserted? We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed days and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behaviour. If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed when he falls over running away, knocks his head and kills himself? If I shoot him, and lose the court case does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and I will lose my family home? AUSTRALIAN OFFICER'S ANSWER BANG! AMERICAN OFFICER'S ANSWER BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click... (Sounds of reloading) BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click. Daughter: "Nice grouping, Dad! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips?" | |
Joke by paulie xixi, in Jokes with no home > Police - Tagged police , english , australian , american , cops , pigs - Current Score: 16 - Added: 4 months ago
paulfromaus got buried to -8. Reveal Joke
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