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| I saw a couple of Blue Tits when out birdwatching last week. I reckon she had been dead for weeks. |    |
Joke by RevvyB, in Illness and mortality > Dead - Tagged dead , corpse - Current Score: 87 - Added: 5 months, 23 days ago
| Three nurses sneak into the morgue and see a man lying on a slab with a giant hard on. The first nurse says, "this is too good to waste," so she hitches up her dress, climbs on and fucks it for all she's worth. When she finishes, nurse number two also decides it's too good to waste, so she too climbs on and fucks with all her might. When she finishes, they both tell nurse number three to have a go, but she refuses saying that she can't because she's on her period. After some thought, she decides that it won't matter, as he's dead anyway, so she mounts him and fucks until she's exhausted. As she finishes and climbs off, the man suddenly sits up. "Oh, we're so sorry," said the nurses, "but we thought you were dead." "I was," said the man, "but, after two jump-starts and a blood transfusion, I'm feeling better than I've felt in years." | |
Joke by ged, in Sex and shit > Itatians - Tagged nurses , corpse , transfusion , wut - Current Score: 49 - Added: 5 months ago
| Since my wife died I just don't want to get out of bed in the mornings. I didn't realise sex with a corpse could be so enjoyable. | |
Joke by itchyanus, in Sex and shit > Necrophilia - Tagged necrophilia , corpse , sex - Current Score: 31 - Added: 2 months ago
| My wife might be a getting on a bit but she has the body of a sixteen-year-old. We're going out tonight to dump it. | |
Joke by storyteller, in Illness and mortality > Murder - Tagged corpse , murderess , but i love her - Current Score: 11 - Added: 1 week ago
| A drunk man walks into a brothel and asks for the cheap whore. "How much have you got?" The man looks through his pockets and pulls out 3 quid. "Upstairs 3rd door on the left" the madam says Well the guy can't believe his luck, a pissed shag for 3 quid! He does the business and comes downstairs. The madam calls him over "Did you have a good time luv?" "Are you kidding! That was the best 3 quid I ever spent, one thing though, when I came, she kept spitting in my eye!" The madam then turns to 2 guys sitting behind her "You hear that guys? Get to work! Corpse is full!" | |
Joke by lashley, in Sex and shit > Prostitution - Tagged drunk , corpse , brothel , shag - Current Score: 5 - Added: 1 month ago
| I was so proud of my grandfather who crossed the channel solo yesterday, I think they found his corpse somewhere around Normandy. | |
Joke by jokeywokey, in Illness and mortality > Death - Tagged grandfather , channel , corpse - Current Score: 5 - Added: 1 week ago
| Since my wife died, I no longer want to get out of bed in the morning. Somebody has to keep her warm! | |
Joke by Doktor Rottenkrotch, in Illness and mortality > Dead - Tagged necrophilia , corpse , widow , sleep - Current Score: 2 - Added: 2 months ago
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