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| A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling. "Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!?!?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. "Alright, I'm gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don't like to have to do what I dun in Texas!" Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post. He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, before you go... what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home." |    |
Joke by niggers out, in Illness and mortality > A Man Was...... - Tagged cowboy , texas , walk , gun , beer , cowboys - Current Score: 203 - Added: 6 months ago
| Two cowboys were talking and one asked the other, "What is your favourite sex position?" "I don't know," said the other, "What's yours?" "I like the Rodeo position," said the first guy. "What's that?" asked the second cowboy. "Well," says the first guy, "you get your girlfriend on all fours and mount her from behind. Then you reach around and cup her breasts in your hands, then you say, "Wow, these feel just like your sister's." Then you just try to hang on for 8 seconds." | |
Joke by sick puppy, in Sex and shit > General - Tagged rodeo , fuck , sister , doggy style , cowboy - Current Score: 102 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| An American Indian, A Muslim and a cowboy were traveling in the same train car. The American Indian sadly announces, Once we were many, now we are few The Muslim arrogantly brags, Once we were few, now we are many. The relaxed cowboy, boots kicked on the table, trying to nap, lifts his hat, spits his tobacco on the floor, looks at the Muslim and says, We haven't played cowboys and Muslim yet. | |
Joke by ged, in Religion and racism > Muslim - Tagged cowboy , indian , muslim - Current Score: 72 - Added: 2 months ago
| In the days of the Wild West, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the greatest gunfighter in the world. He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong. Sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, he recognized an elderly man seated at the bar who had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the West in his day. The young cowboy took the seat next to the old-timer, bought him a drink,and told him the story of his great ambition. Do you think you could give me some tips?" he asked. The old man looked him up and down and said, "well, for one thing you're wearing your gun too high, tie the holster a little lower down on your leg." The young man did as he was told, stood up, whipped out his 44 and shot the bow tie off the piano player. "That's terrific!" said the cowboy, Got anymore tips for me?" Yep," said the old man, "cut a notch out of your holster where the hammer hits it. That'll give you a smoother draw." The young man took out his knife, cut the notch, stood up, drew his gun in a blur, and shot a cufflink off the piano player. "Wow!" said the cowboy, "I'm learnin' somethin' here - got anymore tips?" The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of the saloon. "See that grease over there? Coat your gun with it." The young man went over to the can and smeared some of the grease on the barrel of his gun. "No," said the old-timer, "I mean smear it all over the gun, handle and all." "Will that make me a better gunfighter?" asked the young man. "No," said the old timer, "but when Wyatt Earp gets done playin' the piano, he's going to shove that gun up your ass, and it won't hurt as much" | |
Joke by niggers out, in Illness and mortality > Cowboy - Tagged cowboy , gun , knife , ass - Current Score: 71 - Added: 5 months ago
| It has been rumoured that the pills found in Heath Ledgers room were sold to him by a dodgy geezer.. Apparently its not the first time he got fucked by a cowboy.. | |
Joke by YoukanDewitt, in Celebrity and news events > Heath Ledger - Tagged heath ledger , cowboy , dead - Current Score: 36 - Added: 7 months ago
| A little boy walks into an ice-cream shop wearing a cowboy hat and a pair of six-shooters. He asks the assistant for an ice-cream sundae. The assistant says, "do you want your nuts crushed?" The little boy whipped out his guns, pointed them at her and said, "do you want your tits shot off?" | |
Joke by Lovelace, in Jokes with no home > Ice Cream - Tagged cowboy , shopping , nuts , tits , o - Current Score: 28 - Added: 4 months ago
| A cowboy told his grandson the secret to a long life. He said, You gotta sprinkle a little gunpowder on your oatmeal, see. If you do, youll live to a nice ripe old age. So the cowboy did this religiously every day, and sure enough, lived to the nice ripe old age of 96. When he died he left behind 4 children, 8 grandchildren, 15 great-grandchildren and a 16 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium. | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged cowboy - Current Score: 24 - Added: 4 months ago
| What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats? Cowboy hats are for arseholes. | |
Joke by the phantom phucker, in Jokes with no home > Arseholes - Tagged difference , tampon , cowboy , hat , ass holes - Current Score: 24 - Added: 9 months ago
| A cowboy and his wife had just been married and went to a hotel for their honeymoon. The man went to the front desk and asked for a room. He said, 'This here is a very special 'casion...our weddin' night, and we need a good room with a strong bed.' The clerk winked and asked, 'Do you want the Bridal?' The Cowboy thought about it a while and then replied,! 'No, I guess not. I'll just hold on to her ears until she gets used to it.' | |
Joke by ht, in Jokes with no home > Random - Tagged cowboy , bridle - Current Score: 20 - Added: 4 months ago
| A cowboy rides his horse up to a saloon. All the patrons gawked as the cowboy kissed his horse on the arse before coming in and asking for a drink. The bartender serves him and asks, "Mind if I ask why'd ya kiss your horse on the arse?" The cowboy says, "It's 'cause I got chapped lips." The bartender asks, "Does manure help them heal?" Cowboy replies, "No, but it keeps me from licking them." | |
Joke by lurch_555, in Jokes with no home > Cowboy - Tagged horse , bar , cowboy - Current Score: 14 - Added: 5 months ago
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